As I mentioned in my “About Me” section, dating these days is quite a bit different than it was in my 20s. It’s been a few years since I split from The Ex, so I’ve gotten somewhat used to it, but that doesn’t mean I consider it any less weird.
Among my observances of Things That Have Changed:
- Online dating. This wasn’t around 10 years ago – there were just those personal ads in the paper that only “desperate people” resorted to. Not so anymore. It seems like we all know someone who either met their significant other online or are going on five dates a week thanks to the Internet, where anonymity is king and a guy can misrepresent himself as a Jon Hamm lookalike with no one the wiser. This whole deal just seems backwards to me.
Back in the olden days, you would:
1) meet someone, 2) get excited, 3) get to know him and then 4) become disappointed.
With online dating, you:
1) get to know someone, 2) get excited, 3) meet him and then 4) become disappointed.
Nevertheless, at the urging of friends and out of sheer frustration, I joined a dating site. I’m confident this will be fodder for future blog posts.
- “Hanging out.” What’s up with this? Guys now say something akin to “We should hang out” or “When are we hanging out again?” What exactly does “hang out” mean? Is it dating? Is it going out? Is this just new terminology or is it in fact a new category of relationship? A popular dating site lists the following to choose from when describing what you are seeking: 1) Intimate Encounter, 2) Hang Out, 3) Dating, 4) Long-term. Numbers 1, 3, and 4 are clear to me. Does Hang Out refer to something in between an Intimate Encounter and Dating? And what exactly does that constitute? I suspect this may be another ploy by men to avoid the whole possibility of commitment. Now even “dating” is too serious. Calm down, guys, it’s just coffee. Sheesh!
- Bald punani. When I was dating in the 90s, women were not expected to resemble 10-year-olds in the crotch area. Sure, we would trim it and keep it neat, but most men understood and accepted that hair grows down there. Now, even a few stray hairs on the mound and guys liken it to a trek through the Amazonian rainforest. Like online dating, I resisted the pressure to wax the cooch. I figured, I already do a lot to try to appeal to the opposite sex, including but not limited to:
- pluck brows,
- wax pits,
- color hair,
- pedicure toes,
- shave legs,
- paint face,
- blow out hair,
- exfoliate skin,
- wear wires in bras (ouch),
- endure high heels (double ouch)
Dammit, pulling my pubic hair out by the root is where I draw the line!
But alas, I too have now succumbed to the demands of the male sex, sort of. I’ve compromised… and I’m not completely bald.
4. The backdoor. Since we’re already in the region, I thought I might as well bring this up. And all I will say is: This used to be no-man’s land, now it is every man’s desire. When did this happen?!?
P.S. Kudos to anyone who got the play on the title. I know it was a bit of a reach.
Categories: In My Most Excellent Opinion