5 Un-manly Man Things I Love in a Man

Hot guyMen rock my world. They make my innards shake and quake in a way a woman simply never could. I absolutely adore my girls, couldn’t live without them, but there are certain sensations that only a man can provide.

Generally speaking, I like for a man to be a man. I like him to make the first move. I like to feel like he can protect me. I like when he can fix appliances, carry me off to the bed and investigate when things go bump in the night. But there are a few traditionally un-manly man qualities that make my heart just… dance.

5 Un-manly Men Who Do It For Me:

1. Spider Savers

Spiders are cuteLast time I went out with Fred, I pointed out a little bug flying around us at the restaurant, and without a thought, he squished it. This made my heart sink a smidge. The way I see it, that little feller is just trying to live his life like you and me. Who are we to deny him that? I wasn’t always this way. I used to scream and immediately call for backup at a daddy longlegs sighting. But now I feel for Charlotte the spider and her multi-legged cousins. There is something wildly sexy about a man who has compassion for the little buggers and will gently coax them into a cup to escort them outside. In fact, I’d even say this is BJ-worthy.

Male bodies

Nice......... Not bad.......... No.

2. Skinny Boys

When it comes to body type, I tick the boxes from thin to athletic. What I can’t handle is beefcake. Yuck. Don’t get me wrong, I love strong arms and broad shoulders. If I had to draw out my perfect man bod, think Marky Mark in his Calvin Klein days. Yum. But I’ll take a skinny emo boy over bodybuilder bulges any day. I want a guy whose forearms can touch his sides and whose thighs don’t rub together when he walks. And I prefer to date a man with a neck… because it’s likely I’ll need to ring it someday.

3. Cat Lovers

Cute guy with kittehFor some reason, our society has decided that dogs are masculine and cats are feminine. Personally, I like dogs and cats equally. But I think a man who admits he has an affinity for felines is a REAL manly man, because he’s confident enough to tell society to shove it and like the animal he wants to. I could slip in a line here about a loving a man who has a way with pussy, but it’d be too easy. (See how I did that?)

Chest wax4. Chest Waxers

Skinny or muscular, I love me a smooth chest. I can deal with a few hairs here and there, but I don’t want to have to search for a nipple. I like to kiss and lick a man all over – and coughing up a hairball in the middle of foreplay just kills the mood.

5. Vegetarians

Sexy Vegetarian

Anthony Kiedis - Sexiest Vegetarian Alive 2008

A lot of men think eating meat is the essence of masculinity. Me man. Must eat… cow. But I do deeply dig veggie dudes, or at least someone who doesn’t have to eat flesh at every meal. Of course, I’m a veggie girlie, so it stands to reason. As I said before, compassion in a man is a major turn-on. And I also like a guy who cares about his health. Besides, vegetarians reportedly smell better and have sweeter tasting spunk. A man who tastes good is key, because although I don’t consume animals, I am most definitely a man-eater.


Ladies, do you have any un-manly man qualities you enjoy?
Guys, any you care to confess?

Categories: In My Most Excellent Opinion

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36 replies

  1. I don’t know if I could compete with Fred, or Jorge, but I am pretty much 5-5. Gosh Naomi, Do you think we’re compatible? Actually, I started to wonder until you started throwing in the other shit like cooking and fixing stuff. I am what I am. The only thing I’m sometimes ashamed of is that I am a tmember of the male gender. No substance! Well, I did like PS I love you, Notebook and Dear John. Although I’ll take Dumb and Dumber anyday. I’m not really proud or ashamed of what I am. I just accept it. Not afraid what other guys or even girls think. Just kind of march to my own beat. Some girls like me, some girls don’t.

    Oh yeah, I love acoustic music too.Heavy metal isn’t me, I like the poetry and cadence of deep lyrics. Shouldn’t that be worth a few points?

  2. Thanks a bunch for the tips on liking kittens and saving spiders. I will work that into conversations now. 😉

    I am not a vegetarian because I care about my health. Tofu (soy) is now being trashed hard by the nutrition community online (the non-political types) as being equivalent to estrogen for men (chemical similarity mimics estrogen).

    This may be wrong but, if it is wrong, please help me understand that tofu burgers and other soy products are healthy for men in light of the above concerns.

    Sure, I refuse to eat Beef (mad cow concern) and I will never eat the innards of an animal (hamburgers, hot dogs and sausage are poison) and I am also cutting way back on ham that has nitrates or nitrites in it.

    Obviously Fish is critical for Omega3 oils – so a Fish and Egg and Milk vegetarian diet is OK by me…but I am a very athletic male and 6’2″ who needs protein, so I will consume fresh pork and chicken fried lightly or boiled…with tons of fresh veggies of various kinds.

    But did I say I love fish?

  3. I think your argument that if you put up with a meat eater then it should be no different for him to put with your vegetarian diet is flawed. Probably 99% of the population is raised eating meat. Most vegetarians become vegetarians later in life through some traumatic experience, like my ex-gf, or to practice a healthier lifestyle. Vegetarians are the exception, not the rule. Finding a vegetarian man isn’t easy and would cut your potential dating candidates by a huge margin.

    I think the reason why I was put off by it was the fact that I had never previously dated a vegetarian. I didn’t really know what to think. I remember before our first date having to think of places that were vegetarian-friendly. It was a pain sometimes having to cook separate meals at home or me having to eat more meals without meat or chicken.

    The thing is I learned is that it is the non-vegetarian who has to compromise or change. The vegetarian isn’t going to eat meat, so what’s the alternative? The carnivore has to change and also get used to the fact that when your significant other cooks a meal, it will NEVER contain meat.

    I don’t have anything against vegetarians and would date one again, but I’d obviously prefer a carnivore simply for the sake of convenience.

    • Well, I don’t agree that the non-veggie person has to do all the compromising. I compromise all the time. If I had my druthers, I’d be going to vegetarian restaurants all the time, but most of the people I know eat meat, so I go to regular restaurants. And it’s not a huge deal, and I’m willing to do it because I realize I’m the minority. But you’re right, I wouldn’t cook meat, so if having a S.O. who will cook a meat meal for you is of high importance, I suppose it wouldn’t work.

      What if the person was lactose intolerant? Or allergic to soy or nut oils (which are ubiquitous)? This might also require some compromise. Would you prefer not to date them? Is it more irritating that vegetarians have a choice and choose to be meat-free?

      The thing is, all relationships take some compromise, whether you have differences in musical taste, religion, movies, age, biorhythm or whatever. My feeling is that if everything else is great and you really like each other, you can work it out.

      It honestly hasn’t been an issue with guys I date, and some of them really dig it, but sometimes people are unsure at first. This bums me out, coz I think I’m a pretty cool chickie and wouldn’t want to be automatically dismissed just because of my diet.

      • I think the point was though…
        You can go to a regular restaurant and (usually) still get a salad, or something without meat. “Regular” restaurants tend to accommodate those that don’t wish to eat meat, or fish, or chicken. However, at a vegetarian restaurant there is no such accommodation; a carnivore typically must go without.

        Not saying its wrong by any means though. As you said, relationships take compromise. It’s not like they’re being asked to give it up forever, just one meal…once in awhile. If the guy needs to eat meat at every single meal though, and missing it is really that big a deal, then that may just be a deal-breaker for ya.

      • Yup, which is why *I* compromise and go to regular restaurants. I don’t make people go to vegetarian restaurants – unless they want to. I can almost always find vegetarian options in regular restaurants, but sometimes there aren’t very many, or they aren’t very good. I don’t always want a salad. So I do wind up compromising quite a bit for the sake of others and to not seem like a pain in the ass. My friend calls me an “easy vegetarian” because I’m flexible and I don’t judge. As I said, I realize *I’m* the exception, and I’ve accepted it.

      • It’s certainly true that you can get past small differences like that. I was with my ex for 4 years and lived with her for 3. I don’t think that dating a vegetarian versus a person who is allergic to something is any different in terms of what you have to deal with. I wouldn’t think any more or less of the vegetarian because it’s her choice. Like I said, it’s pretty much just a matter of convenience. If I were in a situation where I were dating two women who who were equal in every way but one was a vegetarian, I’d choose the meat-eater.

  4. I agree totally! My ex husband met all 5 of your criteria and he was hot, tall and uber sexy. I now find it soo tedious dealing with men that try and empower themselves with trying showing off their love of steak, hatred of cats, mockery of man bags as homophobic comments re: a man who removes his body hair! Ps my ex also shaved his pits at my request…for 7 yrs,, I
    fear I’ll never find that again?!?

  5. I’m only 2 of the 5, though those aren’t really by choice. I have a skinny athletic body type without the ability to grow chest hair. I did, however, have an ex-girlfriend of 4 years who was a vegetarian. I was initially put off by it, but I remember asking on our first date if she would still kiss me after watching me scarf down a big steak. She said it was okay, so that was good enough for me.

    • Most of the guys I date are carnivores (mostly coz veggie guys are the minority). I never proselytize or tell someone what they should be eating, that is a personal choice. (Although I do admit I’d prolly secretly wish he’d eventually go veg :))

      So lemme ask you something, why were you put off by it? I think I get that too sometimes. But the way I see it, if I can accept a guy for eating meat, why can’t he accept me for not eating it?

  6. I’m a first-time reader of your blog…good stuff!

    I especially agree on the cat-lover guy…they are hard to come by though. Personally, I dig on Mr. Fix It types who can change your oil, fix a leaky faucet, etc…those types are almost always great with their hands (wink).

    • I like Mr. Fixits too. My dad was one of those. My ex was not, and it always left me frustrated. I was more of a Ms. Fixit than he was. Am I reaching for the stars here?

  7. I’m glad you didn’t meet my boyfriend first. He’s 4 out of 5. I won’t say which 4…
    Great post—and regarding the “don’t tweet while on a date” post…ugh, I KNOW the feeling. It didn’t happen in a tweet, but I’ve accidentally forwarded incriminating emails. There is nothing to make you feel worse. But the good thing is now he knows to lose the earring and geek-ness! It was probably a good thing after all.

    • Ooh, he sounds lovely!

      The way I look at the geek situation is there is probably a woman out there who would dig him. Just not me. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with him, though.

  8. According to the veggie spunk theory, though, the link you inserted specifically mentioned things like broccoli, brussel sprouts, and asparagus being BAD for the taste. So, assuming a guy’s not going to be on an all fruit diet, it appears on the surface that, even though there is a whole world of vegetables out there, they act in contrary to the positive claims made herein. What gives?

    The list itself seems a tad to metrosexual for me to ever fit, though, outside of #2 and #3. Never counted how many spiders I’ve saved but I did get a bat out of my house w/both of us unscathed once, if that counts. I go back and forth on #4 as some women like hair there, others don’t. Never be a full on vegetarian, though, even though I don’t mind a lot of the dishes.

    • Well, the, er, “expert” they interviewed said organic vegetarians tasted the best. I’ve also read that meat and dairy make the spunk especially funky.

      Yeah, this is just *my* list. Some women would hate all these types of guys. Some women would like half of the list. Some women like ’em all. Just depends on preference.

      I used to say I’d never be a vegetarian too 🙂

  9. 4/5 as well and I’d go 5/5 if asked really, really nicely, then promptly rewarded (the waxing scene from 40 year-old virgin still haunts my dreams).

  10. I completely agree with you on the Veggie issue and it is TRUE.
    I once told a guy about the relation to a veg diet and the taste of his spunk… the dude ending cutting way back on the meat and eating more veg while we went out.
    Excellent post… as per usual!

    • Cool! So you did a before and after taste test? Last year I dated a guy (Jorge) who cut back on the meat while dating me and he definitely started to smell better. He liked cats, too.

  11. not sure if this isn’t already manly, but a guy who can cook/bake. Oh man, perhaps I’m part guy myself, but food is the way to my heart.

    • Meaning it hasn’t worked out with cat lovers you’ve met or you haven’ t met any cat lovers? They are sort of a rare breed, so it stands out when I encounter one.

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