The Teeniest Weenie of All Time

pinkySince I wrote last about Tom’s ginormous johnson, I thought it apropos to stay on topic and regale my readers with a story about Tom’s polar opposite. This is a tale about the smallest penis that has ever entered my body.


Enrique and I met when I was a very young girlie, waitressing at a Mexican restaurant.  He was a busboy there, and when I met him I’d thought for sure the restaurant was breaking some kind of child labor law. He looked to be about 16 years old.

It turns out that he was well above the legal age to work – although he wasn’t exactly working in this country legally if you get my drift.

More importantly, when I first laid eyes on Enrique I immediately began to salivate, perhaps visibly and audibly. He had one of the most beautiful faces I had ever seen in my life. And I found out later he had a body to match.

He looked very much like Enrique Iglesias, except my Enrique had green eyes and more well-defined abs. He is easily one of the top three hottest guys I’ve ever had.

Enrique Iglesias

I had a boyfriend at the time, so my drooling after this little busboy didn’t amount to much. We worked together for a few months in a very professional manner. Well, as professional as you can be working in a place that sells chimichangas.

Then one day he asked me if I ever got tired of having sex with the same person over and over again. He was also in a relationship and said he was bored of having the same “meal” night after night.

My boyfriend and I were on the rocks and our sex life had soured some time ago. I admitted it was no longer exciting, but that’s the price you pay to be with someone you love.

For the next several weeks, Enrique and I engaged in what I convinced myself was “harmless flirting.” He was my busboy, so by giving me massages in the bus station (where we keep glasses and stuff), he was just being a good assistant.

Despicable Me

One evening after all the customers had gone, he grabbed me and shoved his tongue down my throat near the chip warmer. He then took me outside and we made out next to the dumpster with the smell of stale refried beans wafting through the air.

This all happened so fast I didn’t have time to think about my boyfriend. But I’d been starved for affection that I wasn’t getting from him. Enrique lifted up my shirt to examine my torso and let out a manly groan of approval. It felt glorious to be wanted again, and he made me feel sexy.

We ended it there, but the next night we worked together, he offered me a ride home. We got into his van (yes, his van) in the parking garage and started making out. He began to rip off my pants in the passionate, aggressive manner Latin men are known for.

I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was about to cheat on my boyfriend. My mind told me to stop but I didn’t. And Enrique was way ahead of my mind.

Oh my God, I am going to rot in hell for this. What shall be my punishment for this sordid, selfish act I was about to commit? A second later, I found out.

As fast as he got my pants off, he removed his… and there it was not. I couldn’t believe what I wasn’t seeing. I’ve no clue the expression that was on my face, but I imagine it was something like this:


The irony was unbelievable. This model-hot Latin lover with the Adonis body had a ding-a-ling the size of a zit on a bad day. I honestly didn’t know they came that small.

I wondered if he had a rare disease that permanently arrested the development of his pee-pee at age eight. Or if God tremendously fucked up and put a pinky where his penis should be. Because without exaggeration, that is the best estimation of its length and girth – a pinky. My pinky, not his.

Before I could flick it away he was inside me, and I didn’t feel a thing. I got more pleasure when he fingered me, because at least then he used his middle finger.

As I lay in bed that night, I could’ve sworn I heard the Universe laughing at me. Ha ha, good one, U. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly thereafter.

I’m fairly sure Enrique told some of the other busboys, because they all started being extremely nice to me after that night. I found the entire experience to be mortifying, but at least my customers got speedy water refills and plenty of fresh chips and salsa.


UPDATE: Hey there. It has come to my attention that a lot of you found this post by Googling “small dicks” or something similar. I invite you to read my article, “The Final Word on Penis Size” if you want to know the truth about what women think about penis size. And I promise you, no one can dispute it. Own your penis, guys.

Categories: True Story

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116 replies

  1. Yes, size matters if women are being honest and if they have an emotional connection to a man they will lie to save your feelings. If a woman has no emotional connection to you and you have a micropenis, then you will surely get the same reaction i have had from over 3000 women. They will all laugh or be too shocked and disgusted to touch you.

  2. My wife is cuckolding me. I really do not mind, since I love her and want her to be sexually fulfilled. This is just one area where I cannot help her (mine is just short of 4″). Why risk that she might start cheating. She has a fbuddy that she sees once a week and everyone is happy.

  3. Oh yes! I know this phenomenon and have unfortunately been at the receiving end of one eeny weeny one myself..I have a theory that “God” or “The Universe” can’t give everything to the best looking guys, so screws them over with a small one to even things out. The man attached to the smallest one I’ve ever seen was also insanely hot.

  4. Ugh Now all the creepy “small penis humiliation” pervs are here too. Just to so guys know, depending on where you live sending photos of your penis to random women can get you in some serious trouble including jail time.

    We get it some of you have a fetish for it, go to a fetish site with that and stop trying to bait random women into your fetish that have no desire to be involved in it.

  5. Ladst summer, I went to a clothing-optional beach with two friends .
    Flaccid, I’m a 1 1/2 incher. My friends are 2 inchers. Several girls laughed or made certain “signs”….. .
    But we founded the “Tiny Dick Club” and returned !!! In our opinion, tiny dicks have equal rights on the beach !!! Some girl regarded us tiny dicks as “cool” and “courageous”

  6. The details are hilarious and painful. The chip warmer, the chimichangas. But of course mostly the pinky. When I was 17, I dated a guy I thought of as Two Pinkies. I was relatively inexperienced at that point, but compared to the man who deflowered me, this was a major step down.

    He was the first man to buy me real jewelry. He was the first man to suggest anal sex (I laughed in his face to hide my absolute terror). There are few true coincidences in life.

    Onward and upward.

  7. Ok here it goes, i even lied about my name to cover up humiliation from woman i know. Well since my whole life and last name follows long, i ve been wondering if my family has the same problem as me but havent asked them. I have a penis that is not gigantically small but it still pisses me off. My dick soft is 3 inches and 6 hard. I went out with a girl for 8 months and when we broke up i thought to myself why didnt i ever get a blowjob.. well she thought my penis was too small for a blowjob, she had a big mouth.. im really pissed cause i think 6 isnt big enough but dispite all these other guys with belly button penises i would like to be your friends cause all my friends have bigger dicks than me.

  8. Hi singlegirlie, I enjoyed reading this story my penis is small and I’d like a girl laugh or two friends dressed me in her clothes some voluntary? 🙂

  9. So, this whole topic is weird to me because I really get off on a situation that most would feel shameful. I have a small penis, But I don’t feel shame about my small penis. I actually get turned on by being teased about it. I think the turn on for me is twofold.

    First, I like my wife to know I’m small and have that confirmed to her. If I am outed, people can commiserate with her about how small her husband’s penis is. It shouldn’t, but I really get worked up when she is (or fakes) disappointment at my small endowment. Part of the appeal is really about competing for her and that by being at a disadvantage you feel the need to compete harder.

    Second, I like people I know socially to know I have a tiny wiener. It’s like a constant small penis teasing every time you see the person. Surely they can’t help but think, “that guy has a tiny dick” every time they see you. I don’t have much experience with people close to me knowing, but I can imagine it is a lot of fun. Especially if they make jokes or veiled comments.

    I most want to be outed to my wife’s friends—as many as possible please. I like that they might feel sorry for my wife and confirm that their husbands are bigger than me. I don’t care if they tell their husbands. In fact, that is a turn on to think they may be thinking that I have a small dick and that they could better please my wife.

    I want to be outed to people we know. That way there is constant small penis anxiety around those people. I would love it if she made a comment (direct or veiled) right in front of me to a girlfriend. But, a private outing would allow for more discussion by my wife and the girlfriend.

    This actually happened to me. My wife recently did it. She outed me to one of her best friends!

    It started with a relationship building game I created that my wife and I are playing. The game requires each spouse to write down things he/she wants the other to do in certain categories. The categories include: sexual (3 things); written expressions (3 things); physical – nonsexual (3 things); outings/dates (3 things); and deeds (5 things).

    Once each spouse typed up their requests (17 in total), we cut them out and placed them in two separate containers–one for each spouse. We then draw a request from the other spouse’s container and work on it over the next few days. Once we each complete the task we draw another. This game has allowed us to learn more about what the other likes and what makes the other feel loved.

    Well, one of my requests in the deeds category was for my wife to “Tell someone we know that I have a small penis. I know this will be hard to do, but I hope you can find a way to do it.”

    My wife, understandably, wasn’t sure how to do this in a socially acceptable manner. I suggested she call her friend that lives states away to catch up and, if the conversation veered toward relationships and sex, to try and work it in.

    My wife’s friend, her husband, and kids lived in university housing near my wife, my kids, and me when the friend’s husband and I pursued our professional degrees. We became close family friends. And, my wife and the friend developed a relationship where they talk about almost anything.

    Our families come from shared backgrounds that are very religiously conservative. This means that my wife and her friend have each only had sex with their respective husband.

    During their last conversation, they discussed the friend’s desire to grow closer to her husband. My wife referred her to a blog that I read. The blog’s content mostly deals with how to be the kind of husband that a wife wants to have sex with.

    So, recently my wife called her friend and my wife reported the following conversation. They just got caught up a little. Then, my wife asked how the friend liked the blog. The friend spoke positively about a post stating that what most women want from a husband is a man who will lead and make decisions. This started the conversation down a relationship/sexual path.

    The friend spoke about one of her friends that told her that the friend could never get enough sex. They talked about that for a while. Then my wife said she might want sex more if I wasn’t so small.

    The conversation continued for a few minutes. Then, the friend asked my wife what she meant when she said that I’m small. She asked if my wife meant that I had a small penis.

    My wife replied by saying that I’m tiny. The friend asked how she knew I’m tiny–remember that I am the only partner my wife has had and that we don’t view pornography. My wife said that I know I’m little and have admitted as much. She said that when she grips my penis, her fist covers from the bottom to nearly covering the head and that if she were to give a hand job in that position, her hand would only move a few centimeters.

    The friend giggled and said “That’s so sad! Does he feel bad about it?” My wife told her that I’m ok with it and that it turns me on a little. The friend laughed again and repeated, “That’s so sad!”

    The friend asked if we at least use some toys for my wife’s pleasure. My wife said that we do have some toys and that a vibrator is so much better than intercourse. She told the friend that I am a very considerate lover and that I always make sure she comes first. The friend mentioned that that was good and said again, “That’s so sad! I feel really bad for you.”

    The friend asked if she could tell her husband about it. My wife replied by saying that that’s a given and that there are no secrets between a husband and wife. My wife had an appointment and had to cut the conversation off at that point.

    So there we go, I’ve been outed to one of my wife’s best friends! And, the friend probably told her husband about my little dick. She laughed at it right to my wife. I can only imagine how her and her husband laughed at it as they discussed the conversation in private.

    I got so hard while my wife told me about the conversation. I’m proud of her for taking care of my silly kink.

    Every time my wife talks to the friend, I will wonder if she thinks about the fact that I have a small penis. I can’t wait to see them in person again. It will be humiliating and awesome. I would love for the friend or her husband to make a veiled joke in front of me. Or better yet, to actually discuss my small penis and for my wife to admit in front of close friends that she doesn’t feel it much.

    So, not all of us are concerned about having a small penis. Some of us are ok with it and actually get off on the humiliation of being under endowed down there.

    • Loved your comment, and I agree wholeheartedly! My little clitty used to be a huge source of shame and embarrassment until I was taught to embrace all of who I am, including the things society has convinced you aren’t worthy. I used to be like the busboy in the story above, a ladykiller secretly ashamed of the limp inchworm in between my legs. But now that I have no shame in who I am, I don’t waste anymore women’s time and I have no more shame, because I’m the one getting fucked now, by real men with real men’s cocks. All while I can be proud of my sissy-clitty.

  10. Ok, so I happened upon this blog and felt the urge to leave a comment…And before anyone says that I must be saying this stuff because I have a “small penis”, I can say that that is not true — I am above average. So, sorry to be the party-pooper here, but:

    1) Body shame is a bad thing. Whether it be for your weight, height, breast size, or penis size. People should not be made to feel inadequate or ashamed for something that they can not help, or even something that they can for that matter.

    2) Boys growing up are concerned about their penis size, and sites like this one do not help. In fact, small penis syndrome is a real issue for many men, and can lead to serious depression, sexual dysfunction, and other problems.

    3) No one would argue that you have to love small penises. People like what they like, and if penis size is important for your physical sexual satisfaction, and that is important to you, then no one should argue that you are wrong. What I would argue is wrong is to make a blog ridiculing and judging a man, or men, for a small penis. I mean, can’t you keep that stuff to yourself? Who makes a blog devoted to discussing one’s sexual experiences? Are you that desperate for attention and validation? What are you, like 5? It makes you look like kind of a bit of a whore also, by the way….

    4) The situation you are discussing may actually involve a person with a “micropenis”, which is a medical condition. Let’s try this: “I was going to have sex with this beautiful woman, but then I discovered that she had….wait for it – breast cancer! One of her breasts had undergone surgery! I mean, how gross is that?!?” Doesn’t sound too good, does it? Same thing basically.

  11. I was with a guy once I that was 2/3 the length of my pinky and about as thick as my index finger. Before we hooked up, he had told me he “wasn’t exactly huge”, but gave no indication he was that tiny. I told him it wasn’t really a problem as I don’t really like huge ones as they can be painful.

    So we were in his dorm room and we were getting a undressed. He stood in front of me as he took off his boxers and all I saw was hair. I felt bad since I had told him it wasn’t a big deal, so I started playing with it and I took him in my mouth. I was able to get his entire penie and balls in my mouth easily.

    After awhile, he moved on top of me and it felt like I was grinding with a girl. He grinded his pelvis on me for about 30 seconds and then rolled off of me and fell asleep.

    I quietly got out of bed and sneaked out of his dorm room. We never really got back together after that night.

  12. I dont know if it is just me, but people who are about average seem to think that they are actually small. I have been insecure about my size for a long time and have only started to come to terms with it.

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  14. I am 2.5 inch Flaccid and 3.6 Inch Erect. I am also uncut and shaved smooth as it would get lost…Lol however i enjoy it being so tiny….It has been said it is undeveloped and a young boys size… who cares it works and gives me great joy…PS don’t know about the Ex Lol

  15. Well, being an extremely indulgent asexual transvestite I love my tiny penis because with just one pair of pantyhose I can keep my nuts completely invisible, tucked away inside my lower abdomen and even with a stiffy and straight up my penis stays nice and flat against my front so that even in a tight skirt I am so perfectly flat in front that nobody even suspects my genitalia is anything other than female.

    • Hope you got to see mine as many do laugh. Remember this fellow looking at my wife at the time on Cam and his partner wanted to see me… When i came into focus she just bust out laughing… It is small and looks very much like a 9 year olds…

  16. This was an enjoyable read; who hasnt been in your shoes with a cold partner and a flirty workmate/friend/admirer? I’ve never had chance to act on situations though, probably for the better. Loved your postcoital thought process, made me chuckle.

    But, this story fucking scares me. I’m a guy with a tiny penis (yep, i’ve even measured it) and it mortifies me to know this is what may be going through my partners’ heads during sex.

    I’m not bitter about reading stories like this (if its true, its true) and i do my best to not let them affect me; but i see countless, anonymous stories lamenting the quality of sex with great guys, guys who are so good and sensual in bed otherwise, husbands of 8 years who can get off with tongues and fingers like lesbians but just dont feel good to be with, and now she feels bad about it but she just cant stay satisfied. and goddamn, its terrifying to know that something i have absolutely no ability to control can mean i might never be able to give satisfying (penetrative) sex to my partners without either a new or a plastic cock.

    I’ve heard it said that penis size is like breast size, but it absolutely isnt. Minimum breast size isnt a pre-requisite for being visually feminine; and it makes zero difference to the actual sex.

    Again; none of this has or will stop me from trying and putting myself out there.

    But damn; its stings to hear that in order to be with you, your partner sacrifices sexual pleasure.

    • I’m sorry, sweetie. If you want to know the truth about what women think of penis size, read this post: It really doesn’t matter to some people. But it does to others. Prolly like boob size. It’s important to some guys, not to others. Don’t freak out. Just master your tongue skills and concentrate on technique designed to give her some intense pleasure. Own your shit, motherfucker. That’s all I can say. Good luck.

      • I enjoyed that post. I’ve been having direct and honest discussions with women on the subject for about four years now, after mostly avoiding the subject completely for most of my life. I’d sum up the preferences of the women I’ve spoken with thus: size doesn’t matter unless it’s too big or too small, and you can adjust to too big.

        I offer this acknowledging that I have a micropenis, and accepting as best case when a woman says to me something to the effect of: “Well, it’s not ideal, but I’m sure we can both have some fun with it.”

      • How do women feel about “growers?” I go from about two inches to 6 inches – and above average girth. I call it toothpick to flagpole syndrome. It does make going to a nude beach problematic – a cold wind… and shrinkage makes it disappear altogether. Not a place to meet women. Hah!

  17. LOL.

    I’ve always been so confused by these stories. I guess it’s cuz I’ve never seen one. It just doesn’t make sense to me, I can’t visualize it. But its so funny. And sad. Impressive that he can be so forward despite it though, am I right? Brownie points for that I would say.

    I don’t know what I would do if that happened to me.. but that face pic is priceless.

    (I’m still laughing to myself…)

  18. Wait when you say length and girth of your pinkie – do you mean hard or soft? If hard then yeah he probably has the condition called micropenis; if not then he just has a small penis. Either way, you may have a gaping hole as a vagina. Just saying. You might have a loose baggy pussy.

  19. Not even certain how I ended up on this blog, but I am the polar opposite of this guy. Won’t give numbers. I don’t have the best body, I’m actually quite average looking. I’m also quite crass with my humor.

  20. Guy here, and as bizarre as I’m sure it is to hear, I love these kind of stories. Not because I’m on the polar end of Enrique’s plight, but because I’m in the same boat as him. I figured out a long time ago I’m not packing heat, not even packing warmth. But I learned to embrace it and even found an old predilection for being mocked for it – even going so far as to maintain my own blog featuring my short-comings. The point? Giving people the chance to blow off steam ridiculing a small manhood safely and without trauma while I get something out of it too. The fact is that men judge the female form and routinely turn down potential dates for perceived physical imperfections, so why not allow for turn around from the ladies? You have to go with who get you going. Great post! Keep up the great work!

  21. Interesting thread…..
    just curious, what penis size (and under) in inches would you consider a penis to be small??

      • I’ve always wondered how women deal with a man with a small penis or just what do they think penis size, that’s because I’m not well endowed, my penis actually stopped growing when I was 12 years old lol
        My penis size is about 1/2 inches soft and a little above 3 inches hard.
        what would you think about a penis the size of mine? do you think it’s small or…? Do you think it’s strange to see a small penis on an adult grown body?

  22. Hahaha, Great stuff here… it’s like I could SMELL the refried beans as you were telling the story. I, too have a couple tiny weenie stories– One thing I noticed about these similar folk, they tend to make up for it in OTHER ways… mostly with their tongues. So … even though they tried to ruin my night with a roll of dimes sized package, with each guy I walked away satisfied. I’ve also been with men who may THINK they have a size issue– which I would disagree– and to make up for this perceived interpretation / comparison to Porno sized schlongs, they have always tried to please me before, during and after with other techniques.

  23. Well Anon, i’m sure there are guys ridiculing bodies of females all the fact it happens openly in the media, and even women also ridicule women’s bodies.

    This website is obviously from a woman’s perspective for female readers, if you find this uncomfortable you are free to leave. In reality women do talk about men’s bodies and yes we do make fun of the weird ones. Everyone does it. It is not a double standard, because women face a lot more objectification from men, and that gives us the right to make fun of weird/tiny male appendages too…

  24. If this was a single guy ridiculing a woman he slept with for having weird labia, followed by a bunch of guys talking about how shitty it makes them feel when they have to sleep with such a woman, y’all would be flipping your shit. Just sayin’.

    • Y’know what, “Anon”. You are absolutely correct, and I am feeling appropriately guilty now.

      I hope that the reason we (women) laugh so hard is because the majority of men (1) expect women more attractive than they (2) overrate their own attractiveness (3) overrate the appeal of their johnson.

      Whereas women often (1) underrate their own looks, (2) value men as much or more for their ability to make the women laugh as for their looks, and (3) rarely, I think, overrate the appeal of their own labia, clit, or even breasts.

      Further, we are often oppressed by men, many of whom do it in a sexually aggressive manner

      Regardless, your point is still valid. I apologize for the double standard.

  25. Hahahaha I jus wanna say I love your blog & this teeniest weenie post is my fav! I hope my blog becomes this AWESOME lol

  26. I had an experience like that too.. hot guy, nice body, tiny dick. Even when he was hard I was thinking “is this it?”. That was it. And he couldn’t even finger me right. I learned later that he has a girlfriend back in his own country. I feel bad for the girlfriend, that he is a cheater and he has a tiny dick and inability to pleasure a girl.

  27. Omg I just started reading your greatest hits & came across this post. Holy shit. Mine was Louie. He was the 1st & last Asian man I ever showed my vagina to. I felt like a child molester. Best part of the story is that I felt his penis, got up and left. Yup. My time was to valuable to even bother. That was back when I was drinking & had much larger balls than I do now. Poor kid.

  28. Wow. Given the opportunity, women will cackle, giggle, and LOL at guys with small penises. No wonder I experienced feelings of inadequacy when I was younger. Thankfully I got over that and realized that “I’m a good size.” I even let it all hang out at nude beaches. (See twitpics for confirmation. Reassuring comments welcome – I lied; I’m actually still worried about my size.)

  29. I’ve never encountered a pinkie or thumb-sized penis, but I did go through a phase in my 30s where a string of 3 guys I dated each had ED. Every one of them was about 5 years my junior, too, so it was really disappointing.

    • Hi Linda, I’m a 28yr old guy, Just wondered, What is ED?
      Well whatever it is, Must be bad for you to post about it, Anyway, I was going to wait for our incredible hostess, SingleGirlie to start Dating again, Then be really cheeky and send her “An Application, With a couple of Pics, A Headshot so she knew what I looked like, And a CockShot so she knew not to be expecting no Pinky Sized ding “a” ling, so she could hopefully eagerly anticipate, Maybe even salivate ;P Rather than dread disappointment, And also send all the vital and relevant info she might want, Then I was going to suggest some sort of union where she will sit and tell me story’s all day & We fuck like two Super horny & insatiable Jack Rabbits all night.
      But on hearing you’re dismay at your recent run of “Fuck Luck”, I hereby offer my services, I don’t know what ED is but I am 111% sure I don’t got it, When it comes to down there I am a cleanfreak, Also I have never been one to blow my load too soon, I have only ever failed to perform once before, And that was after drinking 8 pints of Budweiser & a 1.5Ltr Bottle of Southern Comfort, Drank the lot, and that’s my only fail. Alcohol poisoning will do that to a guy,,lol, But anyhow the Rest of the time I actually suffer from just the opposite of Floppy Cock, To the point where after the deeds done its still rock solid, Which is annoying as I sleep on my stomach which is not possible with a Raging hard on. To much info? lol, Fuck it I’m comfortable with who I am! Anyway, As I am starting to bore you now most likely, I am in West Yorkshire, England, In my own opinion (Which is lower than the opinions of most of the fairer sex) I’m half decent looking, Slim/Athletic build, I will say Average size cock, (You can wrap both hands round it one on top of the other and still have atleast another 2″ coming out the top)
      Geez what the hell am I doing saying all this shit to you, Sorry Sweetheart I don.t usually ramble like this. So, “Servicing I mean Services Offered” And I will end your bad run of FuckLuck :p
      All the best

      P.S. SingleGirlie since I started reading you I have fallen in love with you, You’re such an amazingly talented writer, And you have a stroke of comedic genius about you that is so rare, You appear to be my ideal woman, You have all the usual qualities people look for, But you’re sexy ass woman who says what she means, when she wants and to who she wants, And you are also not afraid to be yourself around a guy, and your not afraid to Fart in front of a guy your with, Which is not something I really look for But its something I have never encountered before. I’d marry you without even knowing what you look like, 🙂
      Also I wanted to thank you, the first time I ever came across your blog I had just had the worst night of my whole life, I was in despair and even though I am ashamed to admit it I was thinking of ending my life, And reading your posts one after the other lifted me up just enough to stop me, So thank you, You literally saved me, (Probably why I love you so much) Thank you sweetcheek’s, And keep up the great work x x x

      P.P.S I apologise for the length, Didn’t mean it to be that big ;):P x

      • Uh, wow, Dan. I don’t know what to say to all that. I’m a little scared. But I’m also very, very glad you didn’t off yourself. If I even had the tiniest part to do with that, well, it makes my whole blog worth it. Don’t ever do it. Please.

  30. Sadly, I have a small penis story, too but I tried to cover up my shock–I know that’s always a sensitive topic for a guy. BUT it was… weird. Like, I didn’t know what to do with it when it was coming at me and I just wanted to get it over with. First and only time I’ve ever felt that way. And then I realized all the signs after it was over. I should have noticed when I sat on his lap and didn’t feel a thing.

    But he’s a great guy and we’re still friends. But that will be the last romp we ever share 😉

  31. This is HILARIOUS! Laughed my butt off! but it unfortunately hits way too close to home. I had the same experience except I don’t remember the guy’s name. I guess the experience was just too traumatic for me that my brain has blocked out most it to save me from myself. LOL

    • Mine is tiny and limp too. My girlfriend does not have sex with me any more, instead she and sometimes a friend or someone satisfy themselves by humiliating me about it and punishing my male parts when I can’t get it up. It amazes me how women like to make men feel “man pain”. I have had my testicles kicked, stepped on and hit with everything from a slipper to a wooden spoon. My little dinky has been slapped, pinched, stepped on, twisted, hit with all kinds of things and even had a pencil shoved up it. It isn’t so bad after while especially when she has an attractive friend over. No sex means anything seems good even if it is kind of humiliating. Girls need to know that there are other uses for a guy with a penis to small and limp for sex. Sooner or later he will get to like it and you and maybe a friend or two can have some girl power fun with that teeny little thing. You don’t need to stick in in your pussy or even let him come to have fun with it.

        • When most women either feel sorry for you or laugh when they see the full picture you consider yourself lucky if you get a girlfriend at all. Then you soon discover that anyone who wants her can take her you change your perspectives on what you will let them do to you. The alternative is to avoid any sex situations and two finger masturbate the shriveled little thing by my self wishing for human contact.
          I guess it comes down to something or nothing and I did get used to it and even look forward to it especially when she wants to put on a show for the two friends that she shares this game with. One is attractive but the other looks like someone’s middle aged aunt. I got over the humiliation and it doesn’t hurt as much as you would think after the first few blows. Bruises heal, swelling goes down in about a day and if I could get an erection I would have one because it does make me horny I guess.
          It started about a year and a half ago when after being denied sex for an extended period my girlfriend had a friend visiting from the coast. I has to use the restroom and was forced to wait while she was in the shower. When I got my chance she has left her things in there along with her dirty panties. I couldn’t help myself they were all damp and sweaty from the days cycling
          and mall walking. To me they smelt wonderful and I could feel my little balls start to tingle as I did. My pants were around my ankles because I have to sit to pee like a woman and I started trying to make my little pee pee big enough to masturbate while smelling the crotch of her dirty panties. She came back into the room and caught me. She looked startled then started to laugh and asked me for her panties. Taking them she looked down at my shriveled manhood and said how do you fuck with that little thing and flicked the end of it. My girlfriend came in and they both started laughing while she said “now do you see why I don’t fuck him. From now on he will no longer be allowed to masturbate without my supervision. This is embarrassing so he should be punished for trying to jerk off with your dirty underwear. I was led into the guest bedroom where the friend was staying by my still swollen balls. They slapped, flicked, twisted and squished me until my girlfriend decided to start hitting me with one of her friend’s slippers. Soon they were both hitting me with her slippers until my girlfriend told me to pull up my pants and get out. On the way out she said I could masturbate now if you want and they both started laughing and closed the door. My poor little penis was even more shriveled but was nor covered with bruises and red marks and it seemed to be swollen a bit on one side but my balls were swelling to nearly the size of eggs. You could see them through my pants for about two days and people did notice. It was humiliating and kind of painful but I somehow enjoyed watching two girls getting horny while beating up my useless sex organs. Since then this happens quite a bit and I don’t even miss trying to put my pee pee into a girl’s pussy and being humiliated again and again.

  32. Been there. Twice. Both hot guys, both teeny weenies! However…they were quite similar looking (both men and penises) so now I can spot their sort a mile off. Luckily I don’t have to anymore, since I’m married to a man who has no such issue, but I can warn friends.

  33. First by the chip warmer—then a dumpster—then in his windowless multi-colored van? I guess it’s true: Latin dudes are smooth as Hell…

    My small penis story starts out like this—>>

    Once upon a time I got up to take a piss at 2:30 in the morning…

    • I notice you added “windowless” and “multi-colored.” Damn, it’s like you were right there with me…

      I’d love to hear the middle and end of that story, Ron Yves. Sounds most action-packed and suspenseful.

    • Once upon a time I got up to take a piss at 2:30 in the morning. As I urinated some urine out of my absurdly enormous 8 lb. penis, I thought—it would kinda’ suck if I had a small penis, thankfully I do not…My penis and I returned to our separate beds and continued sleeping…

      The End.

      *I actually wrote this story in 1993—Highlights magazine published it a year later…

  34. Hi, SingleGirlie,

    Love the blog and the stories you share with us. Thank you! Especially the posts about the douchebaggery stuff. Definitely revealed a new way for me to look at situations involving DBs. I hope things keep looking up for you!

    Also, I hate to be a bother about this, but I have one topic request if you can spare it one of these days: In your honest opinion, why do people cheat on each other? I can imagine some reasons, but I want to understand from a woman’s perspective. I know there are a lot of places online that probably detail this, and I understand if you don’t feel like posting anything of the sort. Anyway, I hope you keep up the blogging, and I’m definitely a fan!

    Take care!

    • Thank you, Andrew! I appreciate it. Hmm, I haven’t had a request thus far. Perhaps I will indulge you and write one, since you were kind enough to ask. Please keep in mind, however, that I am no expert and anything I say could very well be a load of crap.

  35. I’ll never date an older dude again. They DO have the tiniest dicks (I think they must shrink with age) and plus my gal pals and I have all concluded they premature ejaculate. It’s like they are just masturbating themselves with yer body. Grossness. My friends and I just laugh at older men who try and hit on us now. All we can think is “LITTLE fast DICK!”

    • What is it with older dudes? I had the same exact “tiny meant” experience with an older guy. Not to mention they are super quick and saggy down there and make you feel like they are whacking off with your body like a desperate bunny. YUCK. Old guys who hit on younger women make my friends and I laugh our butts off now. Old farts, stick to women your own age (and don’t break a hip).

      • Hmm, not sure how old is meant by “old,” but I imagine they vary in size as much as any other guy. I’ve never heard of dick shrinkage with age. Maybe you guys got unlucky?

        Although I also do get grossed out by older men who hit on much younger women. Seems a little pathetic to me.

  36. You should make the distinction if his dick was hard or not. I guess if he was inside of you and couldn’t feel anything, then it sounds like it was the size of a pinky when it was hard.

    You should make the distinction though, because when a small penis is flaccid is not necessarily a small penis when its HARD

  37. Oh my God… I would have to see that to believe it… my pinky? Seriously, I’m holding it up right now and there’s just no way!! Ha!

    Yeah, I definitely remember mine… it was my first (and only) experience with a much older man (I was 18, he was 35). We’d met a couple times through friends and we lived in the same building (a college residence, oddly enough- he was going back to school for a new trade). We ran into each other on Valentine’s Day and he asked me out. On our third “date” we started to get it on. Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m not a very ooey gooey person, so when he asked that we put on some soft music and he started sensually rubbing lotion on my legs, I was seriously weirded out (come on, it’s not like we were in love… we were just doin’ it!). I discovered very soon after that he was overcompensating for a lack of junk in the trunk. I do recall that it was larger than a pinky… in girth anyway, not much in length. I could hardly feel a thing and after a few minutes of sheer “sensual” torture, I threw him off me, gave him a blow job, and sent him home. And THAT my friends, is why I developed the rule of never dating a man closer in age to my Father than me. The God’s were laughing at me that day, too.

  38. OMG this was hysterical – you have a knack for telling a great story 😉 And yea, I guess I could say the same of my first – the fact that I thought – is it in – was a sign…!

  39. Holy hell hot 6’5″ beefy, long black haired, black Irish boyfriend (for those not in the know, black Irish means there’s some Spaniard in there, dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes to die for).

    Kissed like a demon. Oh my we were passionate.

    And then I found out he had a thumb for a penis. Thumb. This big footed, large handed, tall tall big guy had the teensiest thing I’ve seen, I never kjnow if it was in or not.


  40. I had a one night stand with this guy who was so size-challenged that I actually couldn’t tell that we were having sex at first. I thought he was still fingering me. There were also other things that happened that made the sex absolutely awful (hence the reason it was a ONE night stand)

    I get this whole karma thing you’re talking about. I had a similar situation years ago: the sex life with my ex had started to seriously fizzle, partly due to his ahem, “erectile difficulties”. I was starting to get really frustrated, so in a moment of passion I ended up hooking up with another guy only to find out…HE COULDN’T GET IT UP EITHER. The joke was on me. They say karma is a bitch but I’m going to take it a step further and say karma = weird penis action.

    • I have some experience with this, and even though I have one I cannot explain to you why the penis is so damn moody. It seems to be tied very closely to our subconscious feelings, and if you are cheating on your man and the guy knows it & knows the guy? Deep down that could be a deal killer for the team. Call it guilt deflation. I wanted this girl so bad but try as I (we) might, I could not get it done, so just concluded that it was wrong and I knew it.

  41. I thank my lucky stars daily that in my sexual conquest days, I never ran into anything smaller than the width of my palm.
    But even that was disconcerting as hell.

  42. I always want to ask in stories like these if the guy was like that erect or not bc it’s a HUGE (or should be, no pun intended) difference. And as an aside, Seinfeld IS right in that shrinkage happens w/cold 🙂

    This blog got me wondering, what IS the latest average size again? Seemed in high school I thought it was 5-7in but recently I thought I heard that’d been modified to 3-5in or so. Not that it matters. I’m happy being good old, ordinary, average looks, average size (I THINK anyway) me 😉 Think I was always nervous about that topic in my earlier years so I overcompensated in my quest to be the best at other bedroom activities, just in case.

    • It was erect. It was not shrinkage 🙂 I have read that 5-6″ is normal. But I haven’t actually measured them all myself.

      It is a very good quality to be skilled at other bedroom activities, regardless of size!

  43. I wonder if HGH would help with that sort of thing, and how you would know early enough to make a difference.

  44. I have a similar story. Hot guy, great body, tiny weenie (about the same size that your busboy had). WTH? Is this some sort of pattern? I can’t believe you could handle working with him after! I would be trying not to laugh when I saw him… Is that awful? LOL

    • I think it’s karma evening things out via evolution. It’s like the brains and hotness thing. Gives the normies and geeks of the world a leg up 😉

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