But another girl at work did. It was her birthday. Everyone scurried over to her cubicle to admire the arrangement and coo, “Awwww, they’re beautiful, your boyfriend is so sweet!”
Inside, we’re all thinking, “Lucky bitch. Why don’t I ever get flowers at work?”
Or was that just me?
I’ve never received a bouquet of flowers, fruit, sex toys or anything else at work. And I’ve always wanted to. Every time I see a delivery boy enter the office I quietly hope they are for me, even if I’m not dating anyone. Ohhh, Peter must really be sorry for what he did to me four years ago! Flowers! What a lovely surprise!
But every time, delivery boy walks past me and hands them to someone much, much less deserving.
When do I get to be the lucky bitch? I want the other office wenches to look upon me with jealous eyes as one day the bouquet comes to me.
“Oh, my gosh!” I’ll exclaim. “I can’t believe he did this!” Then I’ll smile sweetly, knowing that today, I am the hated one.
I’ll cast aside the candy bowl of Dum Dums and display the bouquet prominently on my desk so that everyone can seethe as they walk past my office.
Oh, yes, it will happen. It WILL happen. You hear me, Universe?
Now if you’ll excuse me, there is a vase full of roses, lilies and baby’s breath that must be accidentally tipped over.