Happy motherfucking 2012!
Whew, there’s nothing like a gratuitous F-bomb to kick off my first blog post of the year.
I recently stumbled across a blog that dedicated an entire page to explaining why it was “F-bomb free.” I think he was a dad and felt the need to be, ya know, responsible and stuff. And I respect it, really. Good for you, Mac.
As for myself, I feel no compunction whatsoever to be responsible and, while I try not to use the word haphazardly, I sometimes just really appreciate the impact of a well-placed fuck. I suspect Chris Rock would agree.
But this post really isn’t about the F word. I somehow went off on a tangent right after the first sentence. Fuck me!
This post is a tribute to lazy sitcom producers who put together those annoying “highlight” shows when the writers are on strike.
That’s right – it’s Single Girl Blogging’s Best of 2011! Even though I’m not, technically, on strike. But I am lazy.
So go ahead and catch up on what you might have missed, or just take a stroll down memory lane with me. Let’s hold hands.
I present the top 10 posts of 2011 by pageviews, as reported by WordPress.
Top 10 Single Girl Blogging Posts of 2011
10. We Broke Up
People enjoyed my sad story of how Tom and I broke up. Your supportive comments really touched my heart. (P.S., we got back together.)
9. Please Don’t Make Me Do It
I would rather dine on the smegma of a homeless man than be subjected to any more of this.
8. My Date at the Gay Bar
Gay bars are for gays (and the women who love them). So why would he take me here?
7. Eleven Inches
Picked up at the pump by an amateur John Holmes.
6. The Ass Man Cometh
He liked asses so much, he had his head up his own.
5. Case Study: A Good Online Dating Profile
I found an online dating profile that didn’t suck! Here’s why.
4. The Craigslist Creep
Ladies, beware of the Craigslist Creep. He uses a phony photo and resembles a shell-less turtle.
3. Do You Fart in Front of Your Boyfriend?
Let’s face it, sometimes you just can’t hold the suckers in.
2. How I Learned What Hump Meant
A third grade bully schooled me on sex. Thanks for trying, Dad.
And the #1 Single Girl Blogging post of 2012 is…
1. Top 5 Breakup Songs
Evidently, a lot of people are Googling this. I really do believe music is instrumental (pun not originally intended, but hey, it works) in getting us through tough times.
Whoomp, there it is! Hey-o, taking you allllllll the way back to 1993. By the way, if you’re feeling particularly nostalgic (or have an enviable amount of time on your hands), check out my Best of 2010.
So which was your fave, motherfuckers?
(I felt compelled to wrap it up with an F-bomb, just to bring this thing full circle.)
Categories: Totally Random