Listen, I’m sure Momma means well and everything, but she’s seeing you through her extremely biased mom glasses and is generally just blowing sunshine up your ass.
The truth is, the sooner you learn and accept those seven words up there in the title, the easier time you will have at dating and the inevitable truth that goes with it: rejection.
It took one wise bartender (and more than a couple of vodkas) to make me see this. I was bummed out about some dude, lamenting over why, why, WHY didn’t he call me? I’m cute! I’m smart! I’m independent! I’m funny! Whatever did I do???
Wise bartender simply said, “Well, not everyone is going to like you.”
It’s so simple, and so obvious. Not everybody wants the same thing. And thank goodness – if we did, we’d all be after the same people.
Example: My girlfriend Gabby likes stocky blond yuppies who golf and discuss crown molding over supper. This type of guy makes me want to blow chunks. Not that there’s anything wrong with stocky, golfing, crown molding-obsessed yupsters, they just don’t happen to tickle my fancy, personally. But clearly, they tickle other fancies. Gabby’s, for one.
Sorry, Ryan Gosling
No one is exempt from this rule. Not even Ryan Gosling. I know it seems like every woman and gay man alive are creaming their jeans for Ryan Gosling, but guess what? He doesn’t do it for me. Sorry, Ryan. Not everyone is going to like you.
Maybe you’re a tall blonde and he likes petite brunettes. Maybe you’re a left-winged intellectual and she wants a conservative handyman. Maybe you’re outgoing and gregarious and he wants a quiet, submissive girl. (Or vice-versa, in all of these cases.)
What are you going to do? Dye your hair or change your political views or alter your personality just to attract this person? I certainly hope not. Because sooner or later, the real you is going to come out and your partner is going to see it. And you’ll be pissed off that you ever changed for someone else in the first place.
So the next time someone ignores your e-mail or fails to call you after the first date, don’t call yourself a loser and stick your head in the microwave. It doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. They just don’t like you. Because not everyone is going to. And that’s okay – someone will, eventually. I promise.
Unless, of course, you’re a total asshole.
I originally wrote this post for Singles Warehouse last May, but I think it’s probably the best tidbit of advice I could give to anyone dating, even though we all know how I feel about dating advice. Sorry I disappeared for a bit. I’ve been super busy not dating and not getting laid. But seriously, I have been busy doing something, I just can’t tell you what. Isn’t that just so mysterious? Oooooooooh. Don’t you like me more now? Hehehe, all part of my master plan.
Categories: In My Most Excellent Opinion