The holidays are a season for giving. But one gift nobody wants to receive is chlamydia. Or syphilis. Or basically anything that requires antibiotics to get rid of (and those are the good ones). These are far, far worse than a tacky white elephant gift, because re-gifting them is very much frowned upon and even the Salvation Army would say, “Um, no thank you.” I know for certain I would not want a box full of gonorrhea.

But lucky for us, if you wrap a penis in latex, the chance of receiving that unwanted present becomes slim. Your genitals can still have a party, just with no gift exchange!

In the spirit of this “no gifts, please” sentiment, the lovely folks at Sir Richard’s Condom Company have arranged for a giveaway to one lucky reader. Here’s what you’ll get:

• 1 box 12 condoms (winner’s choice)
• 1 box Aloe Cadabra all natural lubricant
• His & her T-shirts
• Misc. stickers, pins and swag

When I was approached by Sir Richard’s, I was impressed for these laudable reasons:

1. For every Sir Richard’s condom you purchase, one is contributed to a developing country. I REALLY love this part. If you’re gonna do someone, do someone good as well.
2. Free of harsh, irritating chemicals like glycerin, parabens, spermicide and petrochemicals that are in conventional condoms. Apparently this stuff is rough on some vaginas.
3. 100% natural latex has minimal latex odor. Because smelly rubbers are a downer.
4. Vegan-certified and PETA-approved for containing no animal-based products and being cruelty-free. (Conventional condoms contain casein.) Your dog would be proud.
5. They donate a percentage of proceeds from the sale of SIR RICHARD’S(RED) Special Edition collection boxes to help fight AIDS/HIV. Let’s do this!

Cowabunga! How do I enter?

Just leave me a comment saying “Enter me, girlie!” (or something similar) down below. Or you can hit me up on Twitter. Or if you’re one of those people who get embarrassed buying condoms in the drugstore and don’t want to leave a public comment, I got your back. Just shoot me an e-mail at singlegirlie@ymail.com. Yes, that’s Ymail, as in Y you sweating me?

But there’s more!

All of my readers will get 15% off their purchase at sirrichards.com with promo code: single2013, valid through the end of the year.

By the way, the packaging is discreet so you can even have them sent to your workplace without worrying about the evangelical receptionist scheduling an intervention to save your soul.

Enter by December 30, 2013.

P.S. Yes, I tried these and yes, I approve. So enter now!