The 86^th annual Academy Awards was Sunday, and funny lady Ellen DeGeneres fulfilled her hosting duties with her usual wit and aplomb. Ellen is well-known for being a “nice” comedian. She rarely throws jabs or takes potshots at another’s expense, and generally keeps her act pretty clean. But we know that deep inside, there’s a bona fide mean girl just dying to escape. Because no one is that nice all the time. At least not sober.

We bring you what was really going through Ellen’s head regarding fashion and other oddities at this year’s Oscars:

Anna Kendrick

That Anna Kendrick, what a trooper. Poor girl was shot in the stomach 15 times and still managed to walk the red carpet.

Bill Murray

Before the ceremony, an E! reporter asked if I had any pre-show rituals. I told her I like to take a shower and comb my hair. Which…