51 Things You’re Thinking On Your Morning Commute

Hey! Please check out my new post over on Long Awkward Pause:

morning commute thoughts

Universal Thoughts

1. UGGGGHHH I’m so tired. Why did I have to stay up so late watching Conan/taking BuzzFeed quizzes/jerking off to porn?

2. Seriously, I’m like the walking dead. Except less attractive. And more dead.

3. What would happen if I called in sick?

4. Would everyone know I’m faking it?

5. I’ll have to feign a cough when I go in tomorrow.

6. Who am I kidding? My acting skills are worse than Ashton Kutcher’s.

7. Fine, let’s do this.

8. Caroline better have ordered the Dark Roast Keurig cups.

9. If any morning people try to get chatty with me before 11 a.m., they lose an eye.

10. Yikes, I’m late. I hope my boss doesn’t walk by my desk.

11. Wait, did I have an 8 a.m. meeting?

12. Do I have time to stop at Starbucks?

13. Will it look bad if I walk in…

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6 replies

  1. You know, people are more likely to make eye contact with strangers they find attractive and develop morning crushes on their way to work than at any other time of the day. I know it’s true for me also. It has something to do with knowing that we’re freshly showered and look our best, along with the hope that the new day will be surprising, different, and exciting.

    • Really? Where’d you find that study? I don’t look at anyone when I’m driving and I assume no one is looking at me so I use it as a prime opportunity to sing at the top of my lungs and pick my nose.

      • I read about it in 2011. Alas, I couldn’t find anything on it when I searched today. i think we’re more forgiving of each other’s singing and nose mining in the mornings because we’re secretly hoping each morning to meet a special someone and run instantly away to Pago Pago rather than go to work that day.

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