Why A Beaver Shot Shouldn’t Be A Big Deal For “Dating Naked” Star Jessie Nizewitz

Dating Naked Jessie Nizewitz

A couple weeks ago I wrote an article detailing five things that could potentially go awry on a reality show called “Dating Naked.” Well, it seems I missed one: a cast member slapping a lawsuit on the network for failure to blur.

Former contestant Jessie Nizewitz is suing VH1 for $10 million because the network neglected to blur out a shot of her vagina during an episode of the show. She claims the error has wreaked havoc on her personal relationships.

According to Nizewitz, her parents are annoyed, her grandmother isn’t speaking to her, she has been teased by friends, and the man she was dating has dumped her. And he was “employed, Jewish, in his 30s,” so that super sucks for her.

I have a news flash for Nizewitz: The show is called “Dating Naked.” You were, in fact, naked – in front of your dates, in front of the crew, and in front of America. Everybody knew what was going on behind the blur – it’s not like viewers assumed you were wearing a bikini under there.

Could it be that your friends, family and former love interest have scorned you not because of VH1’s mistake but because you made the dubious decision to jam out with your clam out on national television – blurred or not?

Do you actually believe that up until the beaver shot everyone regarded you as a beacon of dignity and good taste?

I can just hear Granny’s inner dialogue as she was viewing the show, curled up on the davenport with a cup of Constant Comment:

“Goodie gumdrops! Tonight’s the night my granddaughter shares all of her talent with the world on that new fangled “Dating Naked” program. What an admirable, classy young lady she has become. Oh, look, there she is! Such a lovely buttocks! I really appreciate the way they make the front-facing genitals blurry to ensure good, clean, family entertainment. Just look at her, rubbing mud all over the naked body of that young man whom she just met – adorable! This is truly my proudest moment as a grandparent. Oh, tee-hee, now they’re nude wrestling! I hope she used the Summer’s Eve like I suggested – his face is awful close to her…

JIMINY CRICKETS I CAN SEE HER PEE PEE!! SHE’S OUT OF THE WILL!”

While it’s true that VH1 did screw the cooch – er, pooch – on this one, that’s on them. Would your loved ones really hold you personally accountable for the network’s blur blunder? Could it be that they’re just disappointed that you showed questionable judgment in agreeing to appear on the show in the first place?

Let’s not be coy, girlfriend, the folks who date naked on this show are not seriously hopeful that they will meet the love of their lives in the midst of this ridiculous premise. We all know this program was designed to be a train wreck because train wrecks attract viewers.

Be honest, you wanted the exposure. And we ain’t even mad at you for that. But now you want a cool $10 million for being exposed? Come on.

To be fair, since the lawsuit was announced, I saw the crotch clip and it was pretty egregious. You don’t just see her vagina; you can practically see her ovaries.

The offending crotch shot. (Blur added.) Via everyjoe.com.

The offending crotch shot. (Blur added.) Via everyjoe.com.

However, I watched the episode when it origianally aired and don’t remember seeing her junk. The shot lasted maybe a second or two and totally flew past me at the time. I would have never seen it at all had it not been been for this lawsuit.

For someone who is suffering “emotional distress, mental anguish, humiliation and embarrassment” as the result of people seeing her lady bits, she sure is calling a lot of attention to them. Suing the network and making headlines are only going to generate more views to your vag. Of course, this may have been part of the plan.

The most perplexing part of this whole debacle is that during her confessional portion of the show, Nizewitz states:

Jessie Nizewitz

“I’m extremely comfortable in my own skin. Being naked to me really means absolutely nothing.”

Well, it sure seems to mean something now.

Categories: Uncategorized

21 replies

  1. Oh my god the poor girl!! This was supposed to be a artistic shoot to highlight the dangers of the raising sea level and she trips on a clam exposing her beaver.

    How any guy could be insensitive to have broken up with her just because she exposed herself on national television while wrestling nude with a random guy. What an ass. How could their relationship be having any issues.

    I personally think Granny may be the only person who should get any money out of the deal. She has better things to do like chase old men around the retirement home than deal with this.

    On a side note thanks for all the effort to make us laugh.

  2. Your posts are so funny! I don’t get this show, because I am in Italy…..but I am sure it will make its way over here soon….in fact, I am a little surprised the Italians did not come up with this idea first. Anyway….great post….you make me laugh a lot.

      • Actually yes…you are right….you should see the clothes softener commercials over here….VERY RACY…for CLOTHES SOFTENER! Contestants would be a lot LESS hairier I think (so many guys here these days shave all their bodies…arms, chest…everything….which looks really freaky…..not to mention their eyebrows!….some guys have more shapely eyebrows than me – – weird…real weird)

        • sorry…what I meant….was that they tweeze them….they tweeze their eyebrows!!!…many of them are very concerned with body hair…so they shave all their body and do things like tweeze their eyebrows…but they looks like freaks….YUK! many of the younger guys here are super vain…they take more time than the women to get dressed….NO THANKS!

  3. Sounds like another attention whore. My favorite part of your blog: “You don’t just see her vagina; you can practically see her ovaries.” LMAO!!!

  4. I’m fairly certain thar the dollar figure she’s seeking isn’t so much because of the couple of seconds of missing blur and confirmation that she’s in fact a woman, but rather because the camera got the bad side of her vulva.

    Her contract and VH1’s obligations required the show to air only her good side, which she identified as the outside. She’s apparently a bit loose down there, and they showed a bit inside as well.

  5. Jeez. This show aired in my country last year, and people were nekkid. No blur. I think if you’re doing a show like this, blurring should not be allowed. What’s the point? (But that comes from the country where we ‘proudly’ invented Big Brother) :p

  6. Ha, funny post!

    Of course you are 100% right, it’s obvious.

    But she’s just doing it for the money. Apparently VH1 broke their contract, and she legally can get some money out of that. So she has to trump up bullshit to get as much money as possible, all legal crap. As a lawyer once told me, it’s all about damages. If she claims damages about how much it ruined her life. But come on, after being on this show she should realize she looks ridiculous to the whole world already.

    That is negotiating tactics. Ask for ten million, and she’ll be lucky to get six figures. Then she’ll blow all her winnings in a year anyway. Isn’t it great how people earn their keep in this Amero-capitalist meritocracy economy?

  7. Did VH1 not make her sign something that they couldn’t sue if she accidently showed her crotch when wrestling? I’m kind sad that grandma won’t talk to her considering she was on “Showing off a little bit of Your Leg” on a racy radio show back in ’55.

  8. I used to read your blogs, but you scolded me for something, and made me mad. I think it was you anyway. But I’m giving you another chance, because this topic is, well…..ok, inviting. Anyway I just have a question/observation; In light of the contemporary grooming popularity, isn’t the term “Beaver” shot really somewhat archaic? Not judging, just curious.

    • Ha, well, sorry there Mr. Doug for the offense. I don’t recall what was said by either of us, but I reckon most people who read my blog are aware that I am a blunt ass bitch and pretty much call it as I see it. It’s also possible that the tone was misinterpreted because it’s just text, but IDK. Anyway, glad you’re back.

      You know what? It’s hilarious that you bring up the beaver shot question, because as I was writing this I contemplated the same thing, so I asked five young ‘uns I know if they were familiar with the term. All but one were. I considered switching to “crotch shot” but I thought beaver was funnier, and I personally think we should bring it back. Let’s make a point of rotating it into conversation.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s