A couple weeks ago I wrote an article detailing five things that could potentially go awry on a reality show called “Dating Naked.” Well, it seems I missed one: a cast member slapping a lawsuit on the network for failure to blur.
Former contestant Jessie Nizewitz is suing VH1 for $10 million because the network neglected to blur out a shot of her vagina during an episode of the show. She claims the error has wreaked havoc on her personal relationships.
According to Nizewitz, her parents are annoyed, her grandmother isn’t speaking to her, she has been teased by friends, and the man she was dating has dumped her. And he was “employed, Jewish, in his 30s,” so that super sucks for her.
I have a news flash for Nizewitz: The show is called “Dating Naked.” You were, in fact, naked – in front of your dates, in front of the crew, and in front of America. Everybody knew what was going on behind the blur – it’s not like viewers assumed you were wearing a bikini under there.
Could it be that your friends, family and former love interest have scorned you not because of VH1’s mistake but because you made the dubious decision to jam out with your clam out on national television – blurred or not?
Do you actually believe that up until the beaver shot everyone regarded you as a beacon of dignity and good taste?
I can just hear Granny’s inner dialogue as she was viewing the show, curled up on the davenport with a cup of Constant Comment:
“Goodie gumdrops! Tonight’s the night my granddaughter shares all of her talent with the world on that new fangled “Dating Naked” program. What an admirable, classy young lady she has become. Oh, look, there she is! Such a lovely buttocks! I really appreciate the way they make the front-facing genitals blurry to ensure good, clean, family entertainment. Just look at her, rubbing mud all over the naked body of that young man whom she just met – adorable! This is truly my proudest moment as a grandparent. Oh, tee-hee, now they’re nude wrestling! I hope she used the Summer’s Eve like I suggested – his face is awful close to her…
JIMINY CRICKETS I CAN SEE HER PEE PEE!! SHE’S OUT OF THE WILL!”
While it’s true that VH1 did screw the cooch – er, pooch – on this one, that’s on them. Would your loved ones really hold you personally accountable for the network’s blur blunder? Could it be that they’re just disappointed that you showed questionable judgment in agreeing to appear on the show in the first place?
Let’s not be coy, girlfriend, the folks who date naked on this show are not seriously hopeful that they will meet the love of their lives in the midst of this ridiculous premise. We all know this program was designed to be a train wreck because train wrecks attract viewers.
Be honest, you wanted the exposure. And we ain’t even mad at you for that. But now you want a cool $10 million for being exposed? Come on.
To be fair, since the lawsuit was announced, I saw the crotch clip and it was pretty egregious. You don’t just see her vagina; you can practically see her ovaries.
However, I watched the episode when it origianally aired and don’t remember seeing her junk. The shot lasted maybe a second or two and totally flew past me at the time. I would have never seen it at all had it not been been for this lawsuit.
For someone who is suffering “emotional distress, mental anguish, humiliation and embarrassment” as the result of people seeing her lady bits, she sure is calling a lot of attention to them. Suing the network and making headlines are only going to generate more views to your vag. Of course, this may have been part of the plan.
The most perplexing part of this whole debacle is that during her confessional portion of the show, Nizewitz states:
“I’m extremely comfortable in my own skin. Being naked to me really means absolutely nothing.”
Well, it sure seems to mean something now.