Hey guys, I posted an article over at We Love Dates about the girl who wore the fat suit to see what her dates would do on Tinder – and about how people lie on their online dating profiles in general. Here are the first few paragraphs. Go read the rest!
Last month, the Internet exploded with disgust at the results of a social experiment that tested how men would react when their date showed up looking markedly larger than her photos had suggested on the popular dating app, Tinder.
Here’s how it went down: The guys at Simple Pickup posted photos of a slender female friend on Tinder and arranged for her to meet five matches in real life. When it came time to meet her dates, the girl donned a fat suit, makeup and prosthetics to make her appear obese.
Not surprisingly, the dates were taken aback when the girl they met looked strikingly different than her photos. Each of the men made mention of the disparity and all but one left the date prematurely.
The video of the dates went viral and the Internet freaked out, decrying the men as shallow, rude and disrespectful… READ FULL ARTICLE »
Categories: Guest Post, In My Most Excellent Opinion
Probably late on this, but I’m not mad at the fact that both men and women were catfished in that experiment. I’m very mad that the people who made this experiment decided it was okay for a skinny woman and man to dress up as big people. What, they couldn’t interview fat people about the crap they go through when on dates like this? Like oh, you needed a fat suit to learn that fat people aren’t treated well? OR HOW ABOUT YOU JUST LISTEN TO THE ENDLESS STORIES FROM ACTUAL FAT WOME WHO COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THIS IN TWO SECONDS? What you couldn’t find an actual fat woman for this entirely POINTLESS “experiment”?
You needed a fat suit to show that people don’t like when people use “fake” images …. I GET IT THAT IT’S SUPPOSEDLY STILL THE SAME PERSON but I mean, this is why I keep my pics up to date, because I don’t want to put myself through this. NO WOMEN WANTS TO GO THROUGH THIS.
Here’s the thing: MY BODY IS NOT A COSTUME. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT??? The social stigma and hardships fat people face from a fatphobic society don’t come off at the end of the day. I can’t unzip my hardships and slide it off like they can in the video.
I HATE PEOPLE WHO PUT ON FAT SUITS BECAUSE THE EXPERIMENTS THEY DO ARE ALL FALSE RESULTS.
Simple Pickup, wear that suit, EVERYDAY even in the shower, for 20+ years from childhood, then come back and tell me what you’ve learned. Until then, get out of every fat person’s face if you still think our bodies are a costume.
Some interesting statistics.
Men lie most about; Age, Height, Income
Women lie most about: Weight, Physical Build, Age
The suckiest part about online dating is almost everyone lies. Part of the reason being most people are not comfortable with their own body.
I see where you are coming from, however if it wasn’t for the video that showed the reverse happening then people wouldn’t have been so disgusted! These guys were just plain rude, the girls on the other hand were a bit taken back but they gave the guy a chance.
They guys did not even give her a chance, they did not even want to sit down and see whether they could have fun with this girl, even if she is ‘fat’. Because the thought of actually getting on really well with a ‘fat girl’ is simply unheard of!
When it was the other way around, and the guy was in a fat suit all of the girls sat down and had a conversation before completely disregarding him. That my friends, is the difference between men and women.
Yup, I agree – that’s the difference between men and women. BUT, I don’t necessarily think these women were giving him a chance. I think they were just being polite, because women are taught to be polite and not make people feel bad – EVEN WHEN THEY ARE BLATANTLY DECEIVED. When my date was a different person than the one in his photo, I stayed for the whole date, not because I was giving him a chance, because *I* felt bad. But why the hell should I feel bad? This person lied to me. I was irritated the throughout the entire date.
Were these guys rude? In my opinion, not so much. I thought they just stood up for themselves and made it clear that they didn’t appreciate the deception. I think it’s true that society could benefit from men in general thinking of people other than themselves a bit more. A lot of men are self-centered. But I also think women should feel justified in not feeling like they are obligated to take crap from people.
I’m with the dudes, if the person I was on a date with didn’t look at all the way it was portrayed on the profile I would leave too. It’s not that I am shallow but the first thing people are attracted to is looks. I have been thinking of signing up to an online dating site, but this is one of my biggest concerns- having to weed out all of the lies.
Yes, sadly, you sort of have to expect it. From my experience, most people don’t look as good as their photos. Not drastically different, but somewhat. But it does work for some people, so you can give it a shot.
No wonder that they guys were upset. The girl looked different than her photos.
I also agree with someone, who posted a comment here – fat doesn’t mean ugly. I have a friend who is a bit larger and she is really cute and a very nice person on top of that.
Of course. My BFF is a big girl and she is beautiful. Lots of big men and women are.
is there any Michigan women here who can relate I have something to get off my chest if so direct me to them
It’s more than Ironic to me that someone looking for true love would begin by representing themselves with a lie. I only expect that kind of behavior from politicians…
Indeed. And if regular people start acting like politicians, we’re all completely fucked.
OK I know this isn’t the point of either article at all, but I am sick of skinny girls dressing up in fat suits and looking ugly. Fat does not equal ugly. I am FAT and I am adorable and sometimes sexy. I have great cleavage and even though I wear a size 24, I have NEVER rocked a double chin, let alone a triple chin. It drives me crazy to see women in fat suits dress as plane jane’s. I want to see a girl in a fat suit dress to her new body type!
Good point. They could’ve totally made her cuter.
This is funny because I had this same conversation with my friend when we were both watching the Tinder Fat Girl experiment. I was completely agreeing with the fact that the guys should leave, because someone who lies about something like that, can basically lie about everything. Not to mention that it defeats the whole purpose of Tinder (you swipe left when you are not interested!)
Even now, sometimes, on my dates, we talk about Tinder fun stories and it’s amazing how many of them have been ‘catfished’ (I have never been) and how some seem to be overly impressed that ‘I do look like my photos’ (thought it was kind of the point, wasn’t it??!) . Oh well 🙂
Impressed that you actually look like your photos? Oh, that’s sad, isn’t it? Oh, online dating. I have to say I’m not a fan.
Men need to get over the fact that status, “social game” (i.e. charisma), and wealth are big factors in attracting women and women need to get over the fact that physical attractiveness are big factors in attracting men. It’s just the way men and women are and there’s nothing inherently “wrong” with either preference. It’s just the way we’re built, both socially and biologically.
I really don’t think there’s anything “superficial” in being honest about one’s attractions to a potential partner’s looks, background, or education. It’s what you want and that’s on you. Who is anyone else to judge what some guy or girl wants in a partner? Sure, one could stretch selectivity to absurd extremes as with anything, but in the end that person’s only hurting themselves by screening out too many people by being too picky. There are universal guidelines to what attracts the sexes and people need to come to grips with that.
Specifically with regards to the Tinder-dating woman in the fat suit, first off I totally agree with you that the blatant lying made the situation way worse. I wouldn’t appreciate that in a girl I met online, and I’d totally expect her to be upset if I did the same. It makes a horrible first impression and it’s a bad demonstration of character.
Now if I were in those guys’ situation, I would definitely see the date through instead of literally making a run for it or “going to the bathroom,” because that seems almost as silly and immature. At the very least, I would be upfront with the “fatsuit” lady and say I didn’t appreciate being deceived, and then say goodbye. A woman doing the same cause a guy suddenly grew 40lbs or had two degrees less than he said is perfectly sensible also. But again, I’d give the girl a chance since I already made the effort to show up for a date, but there’s likely little to sway me into making a second date when a woman showed herself to be both (A) not very physically attractive, and (B) a complete liar.
I dunno, they idea of people lambasting guys for being taken aback at a women who did the above is stupid as guys whining that women doesn’t like them because they have no game or no job prospects, or because they lied about having said prospects. Both men and women are “shallow” with regards to their attractions to each other to a certain extent, but I ask if there’s anything really wrong with that? You’re attracted to who you are attracted to and that’s that. That’s no one’s business but their own. Moreover, lying to get your way is universally unattractive, so if that’s the only card you can play, you’ve most likely already made up your date’s mind for them 😛
I don’t care about wealth but I care about looks. Does that mean I’m a man?
Eh, probably not. But I have found that the vast majority of women place a much bigger emphasis on a man’s charisma, status, and wealth than his looks (not that the latter is necessarily insignificant 😉 ). Still, I’m wagering that you care more (either consciously or subconsciously) how a man presents himself and his interactions with others than how symmetrical his facial structure is.
Conversely, I’ve found that most guys don’t care about charisma, status, and wealth in women, but most care a lot about physical attractiveness. A woman’s looks are more often a deal-breaker for men where as a man’s rarely are for women. I know it’s not politically correct to point these things out without sugarcoating them but that doesn’t mean they’re factually INcorrect 😀
If you’re a guy who dates women long enough, you pick up on these things. That’s just my take on the issue.
And come on, that huge comment and that’s all you noticed? 😛 I thought I started a better discussion than that 😀
Well, that’s not really what this article was about but if you’d like me to address your point I suppose I could…
I’m certain that generally speaking, yes, you are correct. If you surveyed 1,000 men and women I am sure you’d find that men place more importance on looks than do women and women place more emphasis on wealth/social status than do men. Nothing new here.
But I don’t think you can make that assumption all the time. I care about looks. My friends care about looks. Why do Brad Pitt and George Clooney have careers? Truthfully, it ain’t their superior acting skills (not saying they’re bad, but if they looked like Stuart with the unibrow in accounting, they wouldn’t have acting careers). The truth is, women like to look at them. So do some men.
And I think that for most people, except the extremely shallow, there are a lot of other factors that go into choosing a partner. Compatibility and chemistry, namely. Also, kindness, intelligence, sense of humor and wanting the same thing out of life.
If looks and wealth were so important to the different sexes, you’d see a lot more sugar daddy/trophy wife combos around. Sure, this trope exists, but if you look around you see a lot more average people coupled up than the Hefner/bunny stereotypes. Plenty of poor dudes have wives and girlfriends and tons of women who would not be considered conventionally attractive (by society’s standards) have boyfriends and husbands.
So when we make that sweeping generalization about what men and women want, it kind of just makes everyone insecure because it makes it sound like those are the ONLY things men and women want. But we’re human and we’re complicated and we don’t all want the same thing. Thank god.
I suppose that’s fair. I think we agree more than we disagree. I’m any case, solid article.
Are Tinder people really looking for meaningful relationships?
The short answer is: some are, some aren’t.
Reblogged this on Nette.
Thank you 🙂
Thank YOU for such an amazing post! Keep up the good work love!
I read the full article and loved it. Here are a couple of other Mark Twain quotes:
“Be careful before you tell a lie; if it’s a really good lie, you may need to save it to use later.”
“When in doubt, tell the truth.”
Trust is the lifeblood of any relationship, household, church community, or workplace. Although it may have purported to expose shallowness and superficiality, the exercise about which you write failed to do so, as you clearly note. What it did expose is an intolerance for deception and falsehood.
Guys who identify themselves clearly as chubby-chasers don’t want to exchange text and email messages of interest and increasing purpose with a woman for three weeks, fret the details of a first date and then find that she’s a size 5 who’s been calling herself a big beautiful woman. A woman who thinks she may have met the man of her dreams on 7orbetter.com, has already identified a strong inclination in a certain direction, and she doesn’t want to discover on date number three that he’s actually got a micropenis.
I know I said I was a non-smoker, but I’m down to a pack a day…I know I said drug and disease free, but I usually use clean needles and the sores often close up again within a weeks or two.
Honesty counts, and dishonesty is the most common disqualifier for any kind of continuing relationship.
OK, dude, you gotta stop talking about penises. Pretty please.
Done. I promise.
I wear suits every once in a while for church or funerals or whatever and I want to know why someone would ever choose to wear one when they didn’t have to. Oh and that LIAR!
Oh, aren’t suits the worst? I hope I never have to wear one ever again. Even a skinny suit. Do they have those?
Since comments are closed over on that page, I will comment here.
Of course, what they did makes for good media, but I agree with you completely. If the photos were of someone who was plump, and then the fat suit was busted out, I think that would have been a more interesting case. Because, as you point out, it’s sometimes the “smaller” lies that people have in their profiles – they are now 30 lbs heavier, for example. The difference between the model in the pics and the woman who showed up? Yeah, not fair.
One of my very first dates from online dating last year was like that – his pics were of a hard bodied dude (yes, they were his) but they were a decade old. I was so frustrated and I did call him on it, but given our communications were decent, I stuck it out – and it did end well, at least from one perspective. Here’s the link if you care to read about it: http://wp.me/p3SI98-s
Oh, totally. The guys who did the experiment were looking for exposure – and they got it. But the media could’ve responded one way or another and overwhelmingly they responded with “fat shaming.” I’m sure this was all orchestrated from the start.
Wow! Well that’s quite a story. Glad it worked out for you. Mine, not so much: https://singlegirlblogging.com/2011/03/15/the-craigslist-creep/. But I’m like dude-shallow.
I remember that story because i loved the actual turkey picture 🙂
I agree, it is the lies and not the appearance.
(I do think that “more to love” is misleading, at least in how some people define that, but I know that is not the point here.)
Agree – “more to love” can be misleading, depending on the context. Dating sites use different terms under “Body Type” and more to love is just one of them. I’ve also seen “curvy,” “a little extra,” and a whole host of others. Sometimes it’s hard to describe your body effectively from the list they give you, so I guess you just have to pick the best one.