Author Archives

Naomi Lane

I am a single girl dating in Los Angeles. Sometimes. It's interesting.

5 Songs that Never Fail to Make Me Cry

I’ve written before about how starkly I admonish listening to sad songs after a breakup. You know they will just make you sob with more gusto than Jennifer Lopez pretending to be sympathetic on American Idol. I mean, you’re already feeling pathetic and miserable, so don’t go out of your […]

The Worst Kind of Wet Spot

When I was in college, I was oddly acquainted with several individuals who would get drunk, pass out, and then urinate in strange places. Yes, in that order. Prior to my years as an undergrad, I had never known sleep-peeing was even a thing. But I had attended a party […]

Free Condoms and Lube! Seriously!

What can I say about condoms? I’m going to be frank here and say the thing you’re not supposed to say out loud in a public forum because it’s not, well, responsible. But everybody knows the truth. People don’t use condoms because they don’t feel good. But you know what […]

Best of 2011

Happy motherfucking 2012! Whew, there’s nothing like a gratuitous F-bomb to kick off my first blog post of the year. I recently stumbled across a blog that dedicated an entire page to explaining why it was “F-bomb free.” I think he was a dad and felt the need to be, […]

Why I Shouldn’t Have Kids

All my life, I thought I wanted kids. I just knew I’d be the coolest mom ever – the one my daughter’s friends would want to hang out with and my son’s friends would want to pork. I’ve always considered myself a person of superior intellect and moral integrity and […]