Something is Wrong with Me

Why I Shouldn’t Have Kids

All my life, I thought I wanted kids. I just knew I’d be the coolest mom ever – the one my daughter’s friends would want to hang out with and my son’s friends would want to pork. I’ve always considered myself a person of superior intellect and moral integrity and […]

Single Girl Blogging Answers Your Questions!

Trying to navigate the complex world of dating, sex and relationships is a rough game. Oftentimes, boys and girls have questions they are too embarrassed to pose to their parents, clergymen or neighborhood prostitute. Luckily, there is Single Girl Blogging. The good folks at WordPress inform me daily which search […]

Please Don’t Make Me Do It

Now that I’m alone again, naturally, most of society expects me to engage in a heinous ritual that, while torturous, and if practiced for an unspecified length of time, might lead me to true love. Being that it is so distasteful, I have a severe aversion to this ritual. I […]

Bagels & Dicks

I met with my financial advisor yesterday. I have a financial advisor because, frankly, I couldn’t be buggered with making financial decisions and don’t know boo about investing. But I […]

Where Are My Freaking Flowers?

I didn’t get them. But another girl at work did. It was her birthday. Everyone scurried over to her cubicle to admire the arrangement and coo, “Awwww, they’re beautiful, your boyfriend is so sweet!” Inside, we’re all thinking, “Lucky bitch. Why don’t I ever get flowers at work?” Or was […]

A Lame Post

I don’t know what to write. But it’s Thursday night. I’ve made a commitment to write one blog post per week, tomorrow’s Friday and I’m spending the weekend with Tom. It’s not that I don’t have anything to write about. I could write about the top five best songs to […]

The One That Got Away Got Married

I was stalking exes on Facebook the other night – something I rarely do. I especially make it a point to not look at one particular ex’s profile, because I know it generally amounts to no good. But I was feeling masochistic and was waxing blue anyway, so I went […]