Totally Random

Three Things for You

Summer has officially begun, and so far, I’m liking it. It’s been gorgeous in LA and the last two nights I had two incredible dreams! The first night I dreamt that I was making out with Joseph Gordon Levitt. It was glorious – until my stupid alarm clock cockblocked me. […]

Free Condoms and Lube! Seriously!

What can I say about condoms? I’m going to be frank here and say the thing you’re not supposed to say out loud in a public forum because it’s not, well, responsible. But everybody knows the truth. People don’t use condoms because they don’t feel good. But you know what […]

Best of 2011

Happy motherfucking 2012! Whew, there’s nothing like a gratuitous F-bomb to kick off my first blog post of the year. I recently stumbled across a blog that dedicated an entire page to explaining why it was “F-bomb free.” I think he was a dad and felt the need to be, […]

Hot Guys Doing Horoscopes

Hey there friends, Romans and countrymen. Apologies for not posting for a spell. I’ve been out of town and taking care of business, so I thought I’d throw my ladies and gays a little eye candy to make up for it. Sorry, straight dudes. You can grab a Maxim. If […]

I Am Not Dead

Hidey ho, reader! I know I haven’t been posting as regularly as usual, but I assure you I have not been abducted by misogynistic pygmies, or anyone else for that matter. I could give you a million reasons — I’ve been buried at work, my corn’s been acting up, I’ve […]

Put Your Penis Away

Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of my existence. Most likely yours, too, if you are not a practicing Catholic. Masturbation is fun, relieves stress and costs nothing. Best of all, it can be done in the privacy of your own home. In fact, the only problem with masturbation arises […]