I Am Not Dead

Hidey ho, reader! I know I haven’t been posting as regularly as usual, but I assure you I have not been abducted by misogynistic pygmies, or anyone else for that matter. I could give you a million reasons — I’ve been buried at work, my corn’s been acting up, I’ve […]

Good Morning. Who the Hell Are You?

I have very fond memories of college. The following story is not one of them. By that, I do not mean I don’t have fond thoughts about it, I mean it isn’t a memory. Allow me to recount what I can remember about my very first (and last) alcohol-induced blackout. […]

Put Your Penis Away

Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of my existence. Most likely yours, too, if you are not a practicing Catholic. Masturbation is fun, relieves stress and costs nothing. Best of all, it can be done in the privacy of your own home. In fact, the only problem with masturbation arises […]

Uh, We Got Back Together

You may have noticed that I haven’t been writing much about my dating life of late. It could be because I haven’t dated in months. Or it could be that I have been dating… my ex-ex-boyfriend (i.e., my ex-boyfriend who is once again my boyfriend, for you slow folk). I […]