dating

Eff the Douchebags, I’ve Got a Nice Guy

Last weekend, I had a 24-hour date with Tom. Twenty-four. That’s right, like the TV show. And it was only the third date. It started Saturday evening at his place. I hadn’t expected to spend the night, and I certainly hadn’t expected to spend the day. But lo and behold, […]

Saturday Night Gas Fest

*TMI ALERT* *TMI ALERT* *TMI ALERT* Warning: if you are sensitive about TMI, particularly TMI about bodily functions, stop reading now. Proceed at your own risk. And if you are grossed out or offended, too bad, bitches. I warned you. *** Have you ever been on a date when you […]

Be a Baby, Why Don’t You?

Generally speaking, I’m not a huge fan of babies. I mean, I’ve nothing against them — I might even get one someday — but I don’t fuss and coo and go gaga when I see a baby. They’re just not that interesting to me. They’re kinda like fleshy blobs of […]

New Rule: The 5-Minute Date

I had a date the other night. It went pretty much the same way every single online date I’ve ever had has gone. We met for a drink and when I laid eyes on him I really wasn’t attracted physically. I wasn’t repulsed either, he just wasn’t someone I imagined […]

Don’t Date and Tweet

For those of you who don’t know, I am very active on Twitter (follow me!) I tweet all day long… *Tweet* I have muthertrucking cramps! *Tweet* STOP! Brownie time. *Tweet* Why the freak hasn’t Jorge texted back? You get the picture. I can even tweet from my phone, so why […]

I Have This Wild Fantasy…

Sometimes I think I might be a little bit insane. Like most men and women, I fantasize – that much is normal. I fantasize about sex, of course, but I also have bizarre fantasies about men that I often think might qualify me for residency at Shutter Island. They usually […]