My Very First Tinder Date… In a Third World Country
As you know, I recently traveled to Vietnam – and failed miserably at scoring myself some dong. My gay bf, on the other hand, was a master at it. Thanks […]
The Vicious Cycle of Online Dating
After a substantial dating hiatus, I’ve recently re-entered the vile, reprehensible, obviously-created-by-the-devil world of online dating. After being away for so long, I somehow forgot that not long ago I […]
A Tell-All Interview with Myself About My Most Recent Date
I had a date a few weeks ago. Actually, two dates. One guy. It took me so long to write about it because I couldn’t find anything interesting to say. They weren’t bad, they weren’t great, and nothing weird or remarkable happened. He didn’t have B.O. He didn’t scream at […]
How Not to Hit on a Girl
I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, I got hit on! And I haven’t been hit on in a while, unless you count the vagrant lying in front of Dick’s Liquor. And being asked for beer money counts as being hit on. The bad […]
I Am Officially the Worst Flirt on Earth
It’s official: I am the worst flirt on earth. Seriously, those nerds from The Big Bang Theory ooze swagger compared to me. When in the presence of a cute guy I’d like to know better, I unequivocally turn into one of two things: A blustering idiot A deaf mute It’s […]
5 Pickup Moves for Ladies at the Gym
I’ve been working out for many years, but it only recently dawned on me that the gym is an outstanding place to meet men. Let’s face it, the entire place […]
Best of 2011
Happy motherfucking 2012! Whew, there’s nothing like a gratuitous F-bomb to kick off my first blog post of the year. I recently stumbled across a blog that dedicated an entire page to explaining why it was “F-bomb free.” I think he was a dad and felt the need to be, […]
Good Morning. Who the Hell Are You? Part 2
Continued from Good Morning. Who the Hell Are You? Part 1 The next morning, I woke up before the stranger lying beside me, as per usual when I spend the night with a new penis. I gazed at my suitor (or abductor), asleep with a ray of morning sun shining […]
Good Morning. Who the Hell Are You?
I have very fond memories of college. The following story is not one of them. By that, I do not mean I don’t have fond thoughts about it, I mean it isn’t a memory. Allow me to recount what I can remember about my very first (and last) alcohol-induced blackout. […]
Eleven Inches
Well, that was interesting. I’ve just returned from the gas station, where I was verbally raped. It had been a very run-of-the-mill day and I stopped off for gas on my way home from work. I was preparing to pump when a silver Saturn drove up quickly in front of […]
