All my life, I thought I wanted kids. I just knew I’d be the coolest mom ever – the one my daughter’s friends would want to hang out with and my son’s friends would want to pork. I’ve always considered myself a person of superior intellect and moral integrity and […]
When I was a child, I was quite shy and what some would call a “good girl.” My mother was very strict with a side order of crazy, so I always thought if I was bad, something dreadful would happen. I didn’t have very many friends, so I was tickled […]
I’ve always had a knack for putting my foot in my mouth. Like the time I told the sorority girl whose house I wanted to pledge that their decorations resembled “shit.” Or the time I pointed to my co-worker’s stomach and said, “Oh, I thought you already had the baby.” […]
Continued from Good Morning. Who the Hell Are You? Part 1 The next morning, I woke up before the stranger lying beside me, as per usual when I spend the night with a new penis. I gazed at my suitor (or abductor), asleep with a ray of morning sun shining […]
I have very fond memories of college. The following story is not one of them. By that, I do not mean I don’t have fond thoughts about it, I mean it isn’t a memory. Allow me to recount what I can remember about my very first (and last) alcohol-induced blackout. […]
Masturbation is a normal, healthy part of my existence. Most likely yours, too, if you are not a practicing Catholic. Masturbation is fun, relieves stress and costs nothing. Best of all, it can be done in the privacy of your own home. In fact, the only problem with masturbation arises […]
Trying to navigate the complex world of dating, sex and relationships is a rough game. Oftentimes, boys and girls have questions they are too embarrassed to pose to their parents, clergymen or neighborhood prostitute. Luckily, there is Single Girl Blogging. The good folks at WordPress inform me daily which search […]
Party’s over, kiddos! Kate Middleton, the commoner from Wherever, England, is now officially royalty. I like this Kate. She seems like a classy broad. The wedding went off without a hitch and Miss Kate appeared to be poised as ever. But all this pomp and circumstance doesn’t fool me. Deep […]
Well, that was interesting. I’ve just returned from the gas station, where I was verbally raped. It had been a very run-of-the-mill day and I stopped off for gas on my way home from work. I was preparing to pump when a silver Saturn drove up quickly in front of […]
I’ll never forget my very first online date. Although I wish I could. It all started a little over three years ago. I was nervous about uploading my profile and picture to an official dating site like Match.com, so I decided to dip my toe in the water with a […]
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