Hello? Is this thing on? Sorry, I haven’t been up in this joint for a spell and I’m not sure how it works anymore. Do people still read?

I want to assure you that my body has not been infiltrated by a rare fungus and is typing this pretending to be me. It is truly I, Naomi Lane, back from the dead like Bella Baxter — spewing oddities and re-learning how to walk in this strange new world. I know I disappeared. Sorry, I had some stuff to do.

But I’m back, and I have an announcement. You know how for years I spilled my guts with exhilarating stories about bad dates and most excellent thoughts on what it’s like to be single — all for free? Well, I’ve selected several of my most popular posts and also wrote up some spanking new content and packaged it all into an e-book for your reading pleasure.

Introducing Single Woman Dating… the book:

(You’ll notice I’m a woman now, not a girl. Bout damn time.)

The e-book drops on Amazon in the next couple weeks, so hold onto your pantaloons and check back here for a link to the goods. UPDATE: LINK HERE!

I know I didn’t really offer a proper goodbye when I stopped blogging on the regular, and some of you may be wondering what the hell happened to me. Did she get married? Is she still single? Did she open up a day spa for feral cats in Bali? You’ll get all that good tea in the book, my friend. It may not be what you expect. Or maybe it is, if you’re Doctor Strange and you’ve already had a peep.

I’d include a countdown clock here if I was more technologically advanced, but I’m not, so you’ll just have to mark your calendars for about two weeks from now. Or so.

Alrighty then. See you soon. Bye. No, you hang up!