The Most (and Least) Romantic Song Lyrics Ever

I was on the elliptical machine, getting good and sweaty at the gym last night when an oldie but goodie popped up on my iPod:

“More Than a Woman” by the Bee Gees.

Now, Barry Gibb sings like his balls have been tightly bound with unwaxed dental floss, but he wrote one of the most romantic song lyrics I’ve ever heard:

Bee Gees“I know that in a thousand years, I’d fall in love with you again.”

If somebody said this to me, I would absolutely melt. Like buttah. Especially since I’m fairly sure that in a thousand years my tits would be sagging something fierce, as would my face.

Actually, I think he may have been referring to some sort of karma, like if in a subsequent life one thousand years in the future, he came back as a totally different being and so did she, he’d still fall in love with her because they are soul mates. It would be quite something if she came back as a sheep in that life.

Anyway, I was swooning and I’m certain everyone could see the big puffy heart bubbles floating above my head, along with the goofy lovey look on my face.

But then came the next song, which contained perhaps the least romantic lyrics I’ve ever heard:

Mr. Mackey“You don’t have to spend your life shooting up in the trash, homeless on the street giving hand jobs for cash.”

Yup, “It’s Easy, MMMkay” by the talented cast of South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. Way to pop my love bubble, Trey Parker. Ooh, that sounded kinda kinky.

That’s it, just a random thought and snippet from my life – a quickie. Because a girl’s entitled to a quickie every now and again. (Although what I could really use is a longie. Woot-woot!)

And yes, I enjoy the soundtracks to Saturday Night Fever and South Park. I honestly think both are no less than brilliant. And if so, only slightly less.

So how about you? Most and least romantic song lyrics? The best one (which will be judged exclusively and subjectively by me and naturally will come only a distant second to mine) shall win a prize.

Categories: Totally Random

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22 replies

  1. I still love the BeeGees and was daydreaming about my very first slow dance with a boy while the song Emotions was playing 2 days ago. They wrote and helped produce it and it was sung by Samatha Sang…I’m a teenager again ever time I hear it..

  2. MOST:

    Let the world stop turning,
    let the sun stop burning,
    let them tell me love’s not worth going through.
    If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart,
    the only dream that mattered had come true;
    in this life i was loved by you.
    -In This Life, Collin Raye (yes its a country song, so what?)

    I think that song HOME by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes is also incredibly sweet.


    But you was my bitch, the one who’d never snitch
    Love me when I’m broke or when I’m filthy fuckin rich
    And I admit, when the time is right, the wine is right
    I treat you right, you talk slick, I beat you right
    -Me and My Bitch, Notorious BIG

  3. Least romantic in my book has to be from The Starting Line’s (yeah, there’s your sign) ‘Bedroom Talk’:

    ‘I’m gonna tear your ass up like we just got married and you’re all mine now.’

  4. If you were a man living in Toronto, I’d date the shit out of you, girl. *john travolta saturday night fever disco ducky dance* ok most romantic song lyrics, hmmm…

    I think the most romantic song lyrics are

    “And if a double decker bus crashes into us/To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die.” ~ The Smiths

    Least romantic are:

    “Face down, ass up/That’s the way we like to fuck.” ~ 2 Live Crew

    • Date the shit out of me? Wow, now THAT would make a romantic song lyric. So flattered!

      Two worthy submissions… carefully deliberating my choices… Leave it to the Smiths to weave death into love.

  5. I know it’s off topic but love songs (good or bad) make me want to vomit. With that said, my favorite bitter, I hate you, F*** off song is You Oughta Know by Alanis Morissette. It could be considered not romantic, right? I think so. Really gets my blood going while working out.

    • You know, I know exactly what you mean. I don’t like those sappy maudlin ones usually sung by some long-haired, middle-aged dude. Yuck. But when they’re set in a disco beat… aww yeah.

      Love that song! I’ve wanted to sing that to exes on occasion. Well, just one. Wondering if Alanis is singing it to Ryan Reynolds now that he’s with that hussy Scarlett Johansson. Liked him better with Alanis.

  6. Give me
    Your dirty love
    Like some tacky little pamphlet
    In your daddy’s bottom drawer
    Give me
    Your dirty love
    I don’t believe you never seen
    His book before
    I don’t need no consolation
    I don’t want your reservation
    I only got one destination
    An’ that’s your dirty love
    Your dirty love
    Give me
    Your dirty love
    Just like your mama
    Make her fuzzy poodle do (Oh, Frenchie . . . )
    Give me
    Your dirty love
    The way your mama
    Make that nasty poodle chew
    I’ll ignore your cheap aroma
    And your little-bo-peep diploma
    I’ll just put you in a coma
    With some dirty love

  7. I’ve always been a fan of the simplicity of “I Wanna Grow Old w/You” from the Wedding Singer but as for mainstream, my top 5’d probably be (in no particular order):
    1) Bob Seger “We’ve Got Tonight”-the simplicity of the love in the song is amazing as a whole.
    2) Aerosmith “Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”-“I could stay awake just to hear you breathing, watch you smile while you are sleeping, while you’re far away and dreaming..where a moment spent w/you is a moment I treasure…”
    3) Bryan Adams “Heaven”-“There’s lots that I could say, just hold me now, ’cause our love will light the way.”
    4) Eric Clapton “Wonderful Tonight”-“I feel wonderful b/c I see the love light in your eyes and the wonder of it all is that you just don’t realize how much I love you.”
    5) Peter Gabriel “In Your Eyes”-“I wanna touch the light and heat I see in your eyes.”

    And an honorable mention to Meat Loaf’s “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth” for the amazing portrait of a first kiss in a relationship w/”You were lickin’ your lips and your lipstick shined and I was dying just to get some hold me so close that my knees go weak but my soul is flyin’ high above the ground..I’m tryin’ to speak but no matter what I do, I just can’t seem to make any sound..and then you took the words right outta my mouth.”

      • No, just a sappy ol’ romantic who loves music and can recite a lot of songs by heart (but yes, I have them all in my iTunes w/high play rotation to ’em). I’m the guy that can recite song and movie lyrics rather fluidly, whether that’s good or bad, I’m not sure.

  8. K, that actually is a pretty solid line… My more recent romantic song lyric finding would have to go to John Mayer – All we ever do say goodbye: “I love you more than songs can say”

    As someone who is a major music fan, I can always find a song the is an interpretation of how I’m feeling… the thought of loving someone so much that I could find the appropriate song to show it… I find that concept mind blowing.

    FYI – Kudos to having a wide range of workout music

    • I’m with you, sometimes songs just hold the perfect sentiment for what I’m feeling. And when you listen you’re like, yes, yes, exactly!

      As for the Mayer song, it does sound romantic for a songwriter to write something like that, but coming from him sort of negates it. I don’t think he’s ever loved anyone that much… unless he was singing it to himself.

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