It is no secret — I am head over heels, entirely and gaga-rifically insane for Jason Bateman. I have professed my love and lust for him many times — on Twitter, in this post, and most recently in my interview with The Hook.
Now, Jason is generally not regarded as your typical hunk of sexpot man meat. This category is usually reserved for the likes of George Clooney, Zac Efron or Ryan Reynolds.
But in my opinion, Jason puts all of these mimbos to shame. He possesses the four primary qualities I am looking for in a man: handsome, intelligent, funny and kind. At least I’m pretty sure he’s kind. You can just tell.
Also, he’s clearly very good looking, but not so Tyson Beckford sex-dripping modelesque that you’d be looking over your shoulder every minute wondering if some greedy bitch is jockin’ your man.
Oh! And also, my friend honest-to-goodness MET HIM once (fucking bitch!) at this party and she said he was really super nice and down to earth. Seriously. This really happened.
And he is just so damn smart and funny. I mean, his dry sense of humor is such a major thong-dropper and is so my thing.
In essence, Jason Bateman is the most perfect man alive. For me.
In fact, it is highly possible that the reason I am still single is because I simply haven’t met anyone who’s Jason Bateman.
So like any crazy obsessive fanatical fangirl would, I’ve written this post over on BuzzFeed as my tribute to his perfection:
Yes, Jason, yes! It includes lots of beautiful, droolworthy pics and gifs of JASON, along with some terse, witty commentary. There’s even this one gif of him with these ducklings and you will absolutely DIE when you see it. I did.
So if you want to see all the reasons I love Jason Bateman, please go check it out. I totally could’ve thought of more than 33 but I figured I should stop before I looked like a complete psycho.
Or is it too late?
Who is your celebrity crush? Why? Please won’t you play and geek out with me??
Categories: In My Most Excellent Opinion