Being in a new relationship can be tricky. You’re figuring out each other’s quirks, deciding if he’s “the one,” holding in your farts…
But the one thing we can all agree upon about new relationships: the sex rocks.
You’re fucking and sucking ten times a day, it’s the best lovemaking of your life and you find yourself blurting out inane exclamations in the throes of passion, like “Let’s quit our jobs so we can do nothing but fuck each other all day long, every day, forever!” (Yes… guilty.)
A few weeks ago I wrote a post on the most and least romantic song lyrics. Today, I present to you my top 7 songs to fuck to.
Let me be clear, these are not songs to make love to – these are songs to fuck to. I’m not speaking of romance or falling in love, I’m talking about rip-my-clothes-off, throw-me-against-the-wall, fuck-my-brains-out fucking.
I chose these not necessarily based on lyrics, but on mood, vibe and groove. They sure as hell get me going anyway.
Top 7 Songs to Fuck To:
1. Lullaby, the Cure
I love to seduce men to this song. It’s sexy, mysterious, and a little creepy. With this playing in the background, I like to give my prey a look like I want to have him for dinner. Nom. Nom. Nom.
Favorite lyric: “Don’t struggle like that, I will only love you more.”
2. Closer, Nine Inch Nails
Does it get any hotter? Even without Trent Reznor screaming, “I want to fuck you like an animal,” this song oozes carnality. It starts out slow and builds to an explosive fervor. That’s right, just like a ‘gasm!
Favorite lyric: “Help me become somebody else.”
3. Love to Love You Baby, Donna Summer
Whether disco sucks or disco rules, this song is sure to get you all sexed up. I mean, girlfriend moans and groans her way through the song and it’s got a kick ass, bow-chica-bow-wow groove. What’s not to like?
Favorite lyric: “Ohhhhhhhhh. Unnhhhhhhhhhh.”
4. Flesh for Fantasy, Billy Idol
Okay, so it may be a little 80s teen movie, but it gets the job done. It’s fucking sexy and sexy fucking. Billy Idol’s voice is hot. This is the part when I usually start biting.
Favorite lyric: “Face to face, and back to back, you see and feel my sex attack.”
5. Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover, Sophie B. Hawkins
Based on the title, this may seem more like a song to masturbate to. And if that works for you, I say go for it. But this number has such a sultry, steamy feel and it always makes me want to mount someone.
Favorite lyric: “I’ll give you something sweet each time you come inside my jungle book.”
6. Darling Nikki, Prince
Well, dayum. I couldn’t make this list without including Prince, could I? I’m fairly certain his full name is Prince of Fuckdom. At least that’s what that little symbol means. I looked it up. There are many sexy songs by this horny fellow, but Darling Nikki is the hottest. Just listen.
Favorite lyric: “Thank you for a funky time; call me up whenever you want grind.”
7. Justify My Love, Madonna
If Prince is the Prince of Fuckdom, then Madonna is the princess. At least she was back before she started looking like she grew a dick. I’m pretty sure this song was recorded solely for fucking purposes. I ain’t mad atcha, Madge.
Favorite lyric: “Wanting… needing… waiting…”
What is your top song to fuck to? Any mentions of Marvin Gaye or R. Kelly will be mocked.
Categories: In My Most Excellent Opinion