*TMI ALERT* *TMI ALERT* *TMI ALERT*
That’s right, kids, it’s TMI time! So for my more delicate readers, please to click away and visit LOLCats or something equally innocuous if you care not to read about the topic in the title. I warned you. Otherwise, continue!
There are two types of couples: those who fart in front of one another and those who don’t. Where do you think I fall? Back to that later.
The other night I watched the Sex & the City episode in which Carrie farts in front of Mr. Big for the first time. He laughs, but she is humiliated and freaks herself out thinking he will now lose interest in her because of this vile, unforgivable act.
She recounts the incident to Samantha, whimpering, “It wasn’t a choice. I’m human.”
“Men don’t like women to be human,” says Samantha. “We aren’t supposed to fart, douche, use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn’t.”
Well, that blows for me, because guess what? I do all of those. Except douche. I don’t douche. But as for the other three? Hell, I’m rocking a tamp, haven’t shaved in four days and farted five seconds ago. Boo-yah! I’m human, muthatruckas!
On the other hand, it is perfectly acceptable for men to be human and fart. Or is it?
Men Who Don’t Fart
One of my best friends, Rachel, had been dating a guy for about two months when his butt accidentally burped in front of her. Embarrassed, he apologized profusely and said it would never happen again.
But instead of feeling repulsed, Rachel thought this opened a new window in their relationship — and not just to air out the stank.
“No, this is great!” she said. “Now you can fart in front of me and I can do it in front of you. It brings us closer.” To Rachel, flatulence was a stepping stone to intimacy.
Her boo did not agree. He felt it was inappropriate and said he wanted no part of this mutual farting business.
Rachel was heartbroken. You see, to her, this was a dealbreaker. She wanted a guy around whom she felt comfortable enough to be human. She decided this dude was way too uptight for her and dumped him shortly thereafter.
Similarly, I once dated a guy who claimed to never fart. Like, ever. I found it odd because he was a laid-back surfer boy and didn’t seem the type to pooh-pooh a little ass gas.
“How is that possible?” I’d ask. “Everybody farts.”
“It’s disgusting, and I simply don’t do it,” he’d say.
I was dumbfounded. I wondered if:
- He had some kind of super-powered biological makeup that exterminated any air inside his body before it found an exit route
- His psyche was so tormented that it wouldn’t allow him to consciously let it out and he floated air biscuits uncontrollably in his sleep
- He was lying
I went on to spend the night with him several times and never heard or smelt anything foul, which means it was either 1 or 3. Tough call.
Neither of these men wanted to be half of a couple who farts. And they were dating women who did.
I Fart, Therefore I Am
The way I see it, it’s too hard pretending not to be human. It’s challenging enough with the whole ruse of makeup, hair color and waxing. So I beg the male race: please, just give me this one thing. At least I’ll look pretty when I do it.
I eat a lot of fiber. It affords me a bangin’ bod, but it also makes me a tad gassy.
Now, I understand the rules of society and I don’t poot in public or around innocent bystanders. But with the person I love, with whom I must spend several hours — often days — on end? Honey, I can’t hold it in that long. It just wouldn’t be healthy.
Luckily, Tom and I share a very special relationship based on open farting. You should hear us in bed after we wake up — talk about morning thunder. It’s like the horn section of a Big Ten school’s marching band. He calls mine “Bert and Ernie” farts, because they’re short and cute. His aren’t. Those suckers are grown-up ass rippers. But I really can’t complain. It’s organic.
Of course, I broke wind in front of Tom on our second date, but he didn’t know it. I’m crafty like that. But now it’s all out in the open and it’s all good with me.
I’d rather be in a relationship with someone around whom I can be a natural woman, not a robot. I have found my fartner, and he loves me just the same.
What say you, lovely readers? Hold ‘em in or let ‘em rip?
Categories: In My Most Excellent Opinion
I am in a relationship and I pass gass all the time in front of my boyfriend we both fart alot he doesn’t care i am a loud farter it would be hard to hide.
Today i just let out a little gas on my bfs lap an it was sooooo embarrassing what do i do!?! He laughed a little an said it was fine but his friend is a gerk an will probably tell everyone at school😒
I pass a lot of gas all the time in front of my boyfriend he does not care we been together for 6 years.
I’ve been married for 5 years and I don’t even do the silent ones around my husband, just in case one of them shouts by way of it’s smell: “She faaaarted!”. The only exception is if we’re walking outdoors, because the wind will whisk away my wind… And if I have to let out a serious blast (and your butthole knows this the moment it starts approaching), I make up an excuse to leave the room. He, however regularly rips them out, with tuba-practice-like sounds. He multi-tasks in the morning with a simultaneous pee and fart session: “PRAAARRPP”. Sometimes his toots actually have an underlying musical note. He always asks me if and when I fart. “Never, I say. But if you don’t believe that, I only fart air-freshener smells, which is why you never notice.”
In india wlmen treted as representation of reputation of religion .
So here women farting not allowed. But its okay with me . I faced a lot of time.
What is a fart?
Personally I prefer for her to fart in front of me. Like, I want her to be as comfortable around me as she wants, without it being completely gross. She could leave the bathroom door open if she wants when she does her “business” and that won’t phase me really.
Gross things to me are literally tidiness-type things that relate to bacterial stuff. Like leaving used Kleenex tissues around. That is not kosher for me.
Wooow i lv u for dis +2348174831801
wondering some gals have certain moles beauty marks which most of the time makes them more sexy and hot so would this influence how sexy or different the aroma or fragrance would be from a hot girl’s tush? email me with solution.
I saw this and had to read it, I can’t believe some guys are so uptight. It is natural, haven’t they ever watched Shrek! Anyways I am proud to say I fart in front of my man all the time, mainly only at nights when we are watching T.V I guess I build it up all day :D. He farts also by the way, he isn’t one of these magical men who have no gas, we usually say “ew grosssss, get away!” Sometimes we get pissed at each other, other times we laugh it out.
I’m single but all these guys hurting there girlfriend feelings about them farting around them is bull carp if I had a girl who farted in front of me I wouldent care I’d laugh and smile because for one its just a fart and two be thankful she’s comfortable doing that around u I think I’m the only guy who treats girls with respect I wish I had a girl who farted around me
One time I fart in front of my husband it was by wrong but he was so angry and he told me to go out of the room . I start crying and he hurt my feelings and he told me if he knew that I fart he wouldn’t marry me . While he fart every single day home and even when we are outside and in dirty way he fart over 20 time a day but if I dare to do it we will have big fight …
He sounds like an incredibly ignorant asshole.
I can be your boyfriend and you can fart whenever you want. I like girls that fart around i think its really sexy
She was complaining about her husband, not asking for a fedora neckbeard to come and rescue her.
Dump him, he is an ASSHOLE!!!
What if the girl farts during anal sex ?
Currently sleeping on the couch since my boyfriend and I got into a huge fight over one little fart. Stupid! Sorry I work in the health field where I have heard, smelled, seen, and cleaned up worse. Guys who think it’s not “ladylike” or “classy” please have a relationship with a blow up doll or something because every human being does it. And especially if I’m at home I’m not holding it in for you. #sorrynotsorry
I don’t get it?? I love my wife and she farts. We do the morning thunder, every morning. My wife never stopped loving me, even though I fart. I never stopped loving her, even though she farts. Maybe some guys think life’s like Hollywood, or something, where women are stunners and never fart. Well guys…if you’re upset by women farting, don’t get married. You want kids, expect a LOT of farting in the last trimester, and 20 fold more from the baby! LOL!
I was sitting on my boyfriends lap one day and telling him how special he is, giving him kisses and everything when I just sneezed and accidentaly farted at the same time. He pushed me off of him and said, “eww”. I have depression and overthink things a lot, so that hurt my feelings. I’ve been with him for almost a year. He’s seen me naked, we’ve had sex, he’s seen me pee… I never thought he’d act that way about it. I wouldn’t care if he farted. He’s a human being.
Though I disagree with the way he was acting, maybe it was just because you were on top of him when you farted? Maybe it just caught him off guard. If it bothered you that much you should have said something. I don’t think he meant to hurt your feelings, I can’t imagine why any boyfriend would; unless there’s craziness involved.
If your boyfriend is moody about it ,get rid of him ,because I would have laughed ,it’s funny really ,plus I would have loved you even more ,I love woman’s little squeeks ,and he is one of those perfect people who never does it ,Mr perfect ,plenty of more guys out in the world babe who will love it .Tell him to take a hike and show him this reply .Get real Mr perfect .
I’m a guy and I read all these stories about girls who fart in front of there guys and the guys get mad upset and sometimes even breakup with there girlfriend because all she did was fart.well all them guys are stupid and little cry baby girls.its just a fart big deal they should be happy there girl is comfortable to do that around them. I respect girls. guys who are that rude and hurtful to girls need there a$$ kicked I treat my girl like gold because I love her and if she farts in front of me I don’t care I think it’s cute.
any girls want to fart for me? i am in columbus ohio. i never experienced but dying to find out!
Any of you nasty SOB’s heard of a restroom? You know, the place where most normal people go to relieve themselves of their bodily fluids, feces and gas? Or do all you sick bastards have some disgusting fetish?
any girls want to fart for me?, i am in columbus ohio. never experienced but dying too!
So girls, when you are alone and you fart loudly what is your own reaction?
The same as guys feel
I dated a man for almost 3 years and NEVER ONCE heard him fart. I would really try not to fart in front of him because I think that guys are supposed to first (yup)…. but it just never happened, so inevitably, after many stomach aches from trying to contain it all, sometimes I let one slip. He was so awkward every time. Then I asked him about it once and he got so uncomfortable and told me he would rather us not speak on such filth. This was so incongruent to the rest of our relationship. We could talk dirty, we could talk vulnerably, we talked openly. But we could NOT talk about gas.
Hahaha! This makes me laugh. Men getting queasy over a little ass gas. You’re probably right to let him do it first.
I laughed so hard reading this article that a fart snuck out.
Thanks so much for this article – we just wanted to let you know we’ve included it in the top 2000 best dating articles online. Check out there rest at http://bit.ly/1il3YMr
I had really a big crush on this hot girl once, but then she let out a huge smelly fart when we were all hanging out in my friend’s garage. I could never look at her the same. Luckily every girl I’ve dated has been polite and never farted around me; or at least not noticeably. I do the same for them. I blame women though, as they dress all nice, and wear all kinds of make up to make themselves look like goddesses. They give out the illusion of perfection, so they shouldn’t be shocked at men’s reaction to their rude but natural bodily functions.
How old are you? 14??
the fuck is this ignorant bull shit? NEWS FLASH: ALL WOMEN FART! Deal with it! EVERY HUMAN FARTS! a women can fart and STILL BE A CLASSY POLIET GODDESS! you blame women for what? being NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS! WOMEN DONT OWE YOU ANYTHING! WOMEN DONT TRICK ANYONE (in means of how they dress/act relating to human bodily functions). YOURE just an ignorant asshole that’s shut tight. smh. men like you don’t deserve girlfriends.
i wonder how guys like you have sex with women… Sex is a very bodily function. Really sex is much more “gross” than farting. All this mucus and fluids.. Even a kiss is more gross than farting. Honestly, kiss includes contacting with other person bacteries and fart us just sound&smell. How crazy it seems to be repulsed by farting and not by sex and kisses.
Soo.. I’ve been in both types of relationships: those who fart in front of each other (ex) and those who do not (current). While i DESPERATELY miss being able to let one rip and crack up with laughter, I also see the value in having a TEENY bit of mystery not letting everything hang out. Let him think i’m a lady..
🙂 Sharon from http://www.thedatinggurus.com
Get her to face sit you and sniff them as she lets rip, mmmmm;)
my ex husband use to want to always smell my ass both in pants and naked he made me do other kinky stuff ………Brenda
If my girlfriend farted in front of me I would dump her on the spot.
Guess what, if you are so sensitive to break up with a girl you claim to like and be attracted to over something so small and normal as a fart then I got a news flash for you. You’ll never have a girlfriend; plain and simple. Girls fart, burp, poop just like every other guy and living being on earth. Get over it.
if girl farts then the smell last for 1 minutes but they keep checking and try to convince its not me
On the total other end of this subject….i just met this man, completly adorable. He was asking if i fart in front of my boyfriends. Fine, but more i talk to him, he gets turned on when women fart!!!! Spesifically, on him. What to do now? Takes this convo right out. Lol!
I almost forgot about Sherri. She had a big booty, and farted so well, I took her duck hunting in Arkansas. I never needed a call when she was with me! She also worked great for Canadian geese hunts also !
I say, let it fly baby, you don’t have to be shy around me. I will pull the covers over your head for a “South Carolina Sleeping Aroma Therapy”, as soon as I know her middle name, and if she likes to catch a bass. If she’s a Yuppy, I’ll still pull the cover over her head and let a silent monsoon roll, just that I know she won’t be hanging around for eggs and bacon! My e wife could fart louder than a trucker, after eating ElPaso chili! She also had a mean Queef! It did get a little upsetting when she did it during church service, but that’s what ya get when you marry a redneck girl. Lookin for another now! I think I’ll try for one that can light her farts, this time!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and we burp and and poop in front of each other but we have yet to share a fart with each other. I’m completely comfortable with him farting. If he did fart I’d probably laugh or something. How can I fart and make it fun or okay?
you are fucking gross
I’m guessing you’re a child then
If you fart you need a good set of sphincter wrenches to tighten up the pucker hole. I recommend the Snap-on set. $49.95 plus shipping.
Every time I accidentally toot in front of my boyfriend, for some reason they always come out as a squeak. lol. Sometimes a loooong one; sometimes nice & quick ones. It always gets us giggling. Occasionally I might fart in bed, but I always try & do it while he’s asleep.
yep so many times loud big farts
Sniff sniff sniff 🙂
I’m a guy that thinks cute girl farts are sexy. Maybe because it shows how human and real they really are. It is definantly a turn on. One the other hand guy farts or old lady farts are enough to make me gag. Weird because they could smell exactly the same but cause such different reactions to me. My wife farts in front of me often and it’s so sexy, I fart in front of her to and she’s used to it but it definantly doesn’t do any thing for her. I don’t fart in front of my friends though and don’t want them farting anywhere near me that’s totally gross.
Strangest thing happened today! I sneezed and farted at the same time in front of boyfriend! Is this normal?
Girl farts are the best!… i like to smell em..
I don’t only not mind if a guy farts in front of me I promote it. It is natural! This new guy I’m seeing “accidentally” farts and always says “oops!”. I tell him not to worry about it ever. But I was raised to not fart pretty much. My mum never farted and with her last husband always got mad at him for it. She says “it’s discusting and if he farts then it means he’s not trying” I want to fart infront of a significant other so bad but I just can’t work up the courage. Any tips?
No matter if some one searches for his vital thing, therefore he/she needs to be available that
in detail, therefore that thing is maintained over here.
I accidentally farted loudly in front of him about a month ago and he was pretty cool about it. Ever since , we don’t really care about farting and when we need to fart, we just do
I am young girl my yum yum tested by my boyfriend with their circumised dick. he is crazy to pee infront of me after sex, for their pleasure i do it, I think being a girl that it is not out of way to do it when he wishes it for me. you know every girls introduces their body parts as nude for forplay including licking and sucking of pussy, when he saw it and fingered it, lick my clitories,rub my pee hole with their penis head .,what is harm in it, when I am pissing in front of him in hotel room which is closed and o any other places with friend.I also hole my boyfriend penis when he is going to feel, and I feel pleasure till it is in my hand and looks me nice , now my boyfriend always wants to hold his penis whenever he is going to pee in front of me only in alone and secret place not in open place.this shows close intimacy and attractions for both of us.Being girl I think it is not bad, if it is bad why should i offered my pussy for licking and sucking. This is a normal and mutal understanding both of us, it is our utmost duty to care their wish and desire being a girl as I am enjoying with his penis whe it is in my yum yum
Speak English, girl!
LOL What does this having anything to do with farting??? Go back to the English classes; keep sentences shorter and focus on the subject. This is no hotline, cookie!
I had a really bad stomach ache one time and whenever I need to let a fart out I tell my partner I need to use the bathroom and I let a smelly one out in the bathroom. I never Fart in front of my bf
I hope women will give the more fastidious guys like me a break. Like your ex, I’m a generally laid back (former) surfer guy, but hate doing it in front of girls, or having them do it in front of me (and that was a big source of tension in a former relationship). But with good reason…the one time I did it in school was an accident, and at the worst possible age. 8th grade. And that followed me for much of high school.
I’m married and my husband farts in front of me. I hate it, but don’t say anything, as he’s one of those types with a “delicate stomach”. I’m just glad he doesn’t do it when we’re out! I’m blessed with the proverbial “cast iron stomach” and fortunately rarely ever fart. Even after ten years of marriage, I don’t fart in front of my husband. It would just make me feel less feminine and desirable.
Lol!!!!!!!This is awesome.Actually i was asking my gf to fart in front of me.Even i told her to poop in front of me.She isnt nothing but a shy goose.She does neither.
Antoine get over it son, she doesnt want to talk to you and your constant comments are starting to seem a little stalker-ish… enough dude, add something of substance or peel from the convo homie.
Of course I fart in front of my boyfriend like you say if you are comfortable and spend a lot of time with someone it’s not a big deal 8) xx
I WISH I were your boyfriend. I’d LOVE to smell your sexy farts; I’d EVEN be your fart-slave.
Wtf. Why? Whats up w men loving
women to fart?!?! I dont get it….
I don’t get it, either. And I’ve never encountered it, so I imagine this is not common.
Of all the human things, there is usually no ryme, reason or rational to the deepest of human desire. I dont know why like womans farts. Made me feel like a freek of some kind till found sites like this. Glad some woman admit they do it and can laugh about it.
Sniff sniff sniff.
write back you fat ass hore
Fart talk is always fun!
Dude, you crack me up. “Air Biscuits” — “fartner” lol…so many good one-liners. You are quickly becoming a blog staple my dear…
Thanks, hun. I can’t take credit for air biscuits. Anthony Michael Hall said it in Weird Science. Fartner, however, is all me 🙂
My boyfriend and I are about to make a year together and we’re very comfortable with each other; except when it comes to farting. We had farted in front of each other before but we were too embarrassed about it. I want us to be able to do it without being embarrassed and reading this, helped a lot. : )
dont be shy let em rip!
I won’t go out with a girl long term UNLESS she farts loudly. You see, I, and a lot of guys, have a fart fetish. I know I’m not the only be because there are lots of websites that charge lots of money for a guy to see/hear a girl fart. I know its weird, I don’t think it’s normal, but I love it! Also, if you don’t believe me, go to YouTube and look at the comments on girl fart videos.
So girls, you never know- I for one am just hardwired that way. So girls when you are alone, and you fart loudly, just remember there are a number of guys out there that would do anything to hear that!
I don’t want a dude to get a hard on every time I let one rip, I just want him to laugh and for it to be funny.
Dude I agree. At first I was worried about my boyfriend not being comfortable with farting in front of me/me farting in front of him.
But I’d MUCH rather have a partner with a conservative view on gas rather than a dude with a fart fetish.
That would be gross. And irritating.
I fart a lot in front of my boyfriend. He hates it cos they smell a lot and they are quite long. I’m blond and everyone says I’m pretty but I fart alot
Haha how long are they?
Blonde to light brown farts have a very pure smell. Brown hair farts have a slight hint of chicken oder. Red haired farts are usually sharp and smell fine but burn the mucus membrains. ( Hope I smelt that right ). Black hair farts are usually kind of eggy ( depends on geography too where they can have kind of a homemade soup smell. Im an expert on womans farts. In certian ultra violate UV lights and thermal vision monitors farts show up as yellow. Like Mustard gas. I like womans farts
After you’ve been with someone for 5 years, you just don’t care anymore. Either one of you. Do you really plan on spending the rest of your life never farting ever again because you may offend someone who is supposed to love you no matter what. And I quote, from that exact episode of SATC…”There’s a moment in every relationship when romance gives way to reality.” Grow up, everybody does it.
My boyfriend freaks out when I fart! I hold them in all the time when I’m with him but the do slip out from time to time and when it happens he freaks out, locks himself in his room or walks home (depending where we are) and won’t talk to me for like 2 days……….yet it’s ok for him to fart around me! -_-
A little sexist, right?
Uhh, YES! Tell him if you can’t, he can’t. Or send him the link to this blog! 🙂
It’s not “a little sexist;” it’s VERY sexist.
If he has a problem with you farting, then, he’s the one with the problem. Girl’s farts are sexy.
Also, singlegirlie is right; if you can’t fart around him, he can’t fart around you.
He shouldnt do that. You are human. So is he. Does he think his farts smell better? Or does he not fart? I wouldnt mind if you cut one in front of me. I like it when females fart. Its sexy 😀
Get rid of him ,he is another one of those strange people who thinks he is the God of farts .He is an old fart ,and not real .Get him packed and gone cause you will always be walking on eggshells .Keep farting girl .
Skanky bitches. It’s vulgar and repulsive. Save it for the bathroom, you smelly assed hoes.
aww, he’s butthurt!
I think its perfectly normal for girls to fart and i do it all the time. When my grandfather was younger hed hold in his farts and he got sick and had to have the bottom half of his intestines removed cuz he held them in. He told his kids to fart whenever they had to and not to care what anyone thought and they passed down the torch to us. I dont do it in public cuz im respectful but i do in front of friends, family and my bf!! 😀 Happy Farting!!
Do you do it in front of your boyfriends friends too? My friends wife accientally let one go one night when I was visiting with them. She looked at me and laughed. But when he laughed she got mad at him. Scratches my head.
Lol. My husband (of 13yrs) let’s em rip.. But I just CAN’T! I hold them in..I go to the bathroom.. Hell..I go to the yard. I can’t poop if I know he is nearby! I’m afraid to stink up the bathroom. I have such a complex about it! But when he is at work I fart up a storm. All day! Loud thunderous gas. I even find it funny… My lil secret! Lol lol
I dont mean to alarm you, but by now you must have done it in your sleep a thousand times and he was wide awake and heard em loud and clear at least 100 times. Just suprise him one day whilst awake and fart while walking by him. Then laugh hysterically. It gets better I promise. Holding farts in isnt healthy
I fart at least 30 times a day (I counted several times), especially in the morning and in the evening. I also get cramps if I hold it in too long, which I have to do if I’m staying late at work. I’ve farted in front of all my boyfriends and they’re perfectly fine with it.
The only thing I haven’t been able to do in front of a guy or see him do is poo. I think that’s ok though since ppl don’t do it except in a bathroom anyway.
My current boyfriend also farts a TON. Almost as much as I do. We take turns farting at night in bed and in the morning on the weekends. When he’s farting anywhere else, he likes to point his toots into a corner so it doesn’t foul up the whole room. He squats a bit, sticking his butt out into the corner, and holds his arms out like he’s riding a motorcycle, and then when he farts, he pretends he’s twisting the handlebars — pfffpt pfffpt. 😀 It’s so cute.
That is freaking awesome. Love it!
Hahahaha!!!! sounds just like my BF! Litterally as i am writing this my BF just ripped a fatty!!!!
I get stomach cramps as well when i hold it in.. I let it go whenever and wherever I am.. They are mostly silent farts but.. Everyone does it. It’s human. If it wasn’t god wouldn’t allow us to do it. It’s just like going to the restroom and taking a duce. I mean if you gotta go you gotta go.. I use to be shy about it and hold it in infront of my husband (we were just dating at the time) but as i got to know him and felt more comfortable i just let it go. It is really unhealthy to let something stay in you when its aching to get out. It’s not nasty.. it may smell gross but it’s not nasty. it’s not something we can control. But my husband and I always fart around eachother, we actually laugh about it. It’s too funny.
dude, i was almost married and still hadn’t cut one in front of the lady…ALMOST MARRIED!!!
it was hellacious, I was vegetarian at the time so….um yeah.
sleeping was the worst , I would wake up in a panic wondering if i had farted .
One night I woke up bloated with a hateful pressure inside,half asleep I went outside buck naked on my back porch and busted ass. I came back to bed and she was awake and asked what the hell I was doing outside naked.Exasperated I told her ” Listen I stood out on the porch with my balls in my hand and I farted…loudly” Of course she thought this was fucking hilarious but then she also realized how insane I was and how much the farting thing was stressing me and from that point it was on..my rule was I just left the room but didn’t attempt to hide the fact or the noise, this resulted in her deciding I was the most gaseous person on Earth. Whatever, I’m glad it ended I was in hell for a solid 2 years.
She also convince me not be weird about jerking off in bed with her their in the morning instead of doing it in my car during AM rush hour traffic ..driving a standard.
Wow hahahahaa Thats tooo funny.
I saw some comments here saying “i never fart” or “I will never fart in front of my SO” my question to you is… how on earth do you have enough control over you digestive tract that you don’t even let some slip? Come on people, that can’t be healthy. Farts aren’t the most pleasant things but you gotta let em go once in a while. Haven’t you ever seen the south park episode about “spontaneous combustion” lol
My girlfriend brionna farts infront of me all the time and I love it when she farts on me it makes me horny se is the best I also love when she cup a farts me its so pleasuring
farting is normal, don’t be ashamed! guys who complain are just conservative and hypocrite!
They could just hate the smell. Mos girl farts do smell way worse than boy ones.
i think its easy alittle bit for boys but girls i think its senstive..haha i remember once my girl friend farted sudnly she wasnt mean it and then she looked to me to know if i heared or smelled and i acted that i diddnt know what happend and started to taklk about our love but the smell was so strong and sudenly i said to her (did you shitt)..she stoped talking and her face begone to be red and she said
(no..i just farted)i said to her thats ok and gived her sexy hug..what i have to do .she is shy
Haha thats so cute. but hilarious
OMG you guys. My opinion:
Farting is not compatible with fancying someone. If a girl farted in bed there is absolutely no way I’d go down on her. I’ve had relationships with girls totalling about 10 years (max was 4 years) and in total, in TOTAL, probably heard about 5 accidental farts. They clearly held it in round me, or went to the bathroom or another room, and likewise I held it in round them. Common courtesy. With mates, it’s different, you’re not (normally) sexually attracted to your mates so it doesn’t matter. I can’t imagine how unhorny it would make me feel if a girl farted in bed, and especially if it stunk. OMG I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near her. I would rather go down on a girl on her period than have her fart anywhere near me.
Burps: I can do this proudly in front of the hubs. Sometimes he’s imsrspeed at how well I can do this!Toots: I NEVER farted in front of the hubs until I was pregnant and couldn’t help myself. Now that baby is here, I try not to fart but it squeaks out. He thinks it’s hilarious. However, he doesn’t fart in front of me unless it’s by accident. HAHA.#1: He sometimes pees with the door open and I don’t mind, I just think it’s so lazy of him to not shut the door! I wouldn’t want to pee in front of him, though.#2: ABSOLUTELY NOT! However, I used to be VERY lactose-intolerant and once after eating ice cream, I almost went #3 (diarhea) in his car and cried and begged him to speed home before I shat myself. This has happend many times because I tend to have a weak stomach. While I’ve never actually went in front of him, I’ve, many times, nearly shat myself in his presence.
Thank you finally someone gets the main point of view!! Its a total turn off!!
I shit in my gfs mouth
Lol. Seems like she likes it.
I am glad there are real women out there like myself, that do not see the shame in a little bum burp now and then, its an after effect of good digestion, and a true sign of how relaxed you are around your partner, it should be celebrated as a compliment, not an insult, we trust our men, and are comfortable around them, nothing more,nothing less. I just wish more people would embrace the old saying of “It’s better out than in!” and not be so crampy, and bloated and down right miserable trying to sneak away in time to let out what we all know that we ALL do, some people just refuse to admit it.
I likd to sniff girls farts and if ny girl wanna sniff my fart i m ready
i want to chat dirty if ny girl want to chat wid me than….My email id iz email@example.com
I dnt hv ny prob if my girl friend fart in front of me,i can even sniff her farts and she too…..
i’m so glad i found this ! i like your blog it’s witty☆
i’ve been so stressed out trying to decode my new boy’s behavior ><
in my years of romantic experience with boys (all japanese cuz well.. i like it like that) this has never happened before. they don't do it, i don't do it.
this new boy is so perfect♥ cute, sweet, cuddly, kind, sexy piercings, beautiful face, amazing body, singer in a band…
he came to my apt, we cuddled for 6 hours in my bed♥ this was our first date and it was going so well until he did it (quiet one) and made a joke abt it. i was so shocked. later he did it again several times (loudly) and pretended nothing happened, looking around innocently.
i don't get it.
what does it mean ?!
does it mean he doesn't like me? he doesn't think i'm worth making a good impression on?
oh yeah, my toilet was broken at the time…
he had just come from working and band practice and other stuff for the previous 30 hours.
sorry i'm just so confused…
I laughed out loud reading this! Well, I’d guess it’s not exactly typical for a guy to be that open about farting on a first date, but then again, it’s not exactly typical to cuddle for six hours in bed on a first date either. Maybe he just felt really comfortable with you. Unfortunately, we can’t know what it *means*, because we’re not inside his head. You can make a joke about it, like, “Wow, you really aren’t shy about that, are you?” and see what he says. I would read into this too much. I think there are much better ways to see if a guy likes you. Like if he calls you and treats you well. After all, it’s just a fart.
I know there are (a lot of) people who have a ton of gas… well… I am the opposite. I have very little gas. And yes, I am being honest. My body just does not produce anywhere near as much as most people.
So, for me, I would love to find a girl who is like me.
My husband and I break wind (ha! love that expression) in front of each other quite regularly. We, too, eat a LOT of high fibre foods, and truly, I have no idea how one could eat a healthy diet loaded with raw vegetables and not fart.
However, in the beginning, we both held it in, and it took me a long time to feel comfortable enough in his presence to relax and let go. He thinks it’s great and has even remarked that he’s happy he’s finally met a woman who doesn’t get all bent out of shape about it.
It’s not like we go around tooting left and right and everywhere we go, but in the privacy of our own home and especially bed, yeah, if I’m tucked in, comfy and sleepy, why should I get up and high tail it to the washroom? If I were alone, I’d fart, so why not with my significant other? It’s a bodily function. No big deal.
Oh, and I love the term “fartner”…lol. I will have to adopt that into my vocabulary.
i would for my girlfriend to fart in my face. i think farts are wonderful esspecially from a girl.
Is this sexy avatar, you? You seam HOT, based on your reply.
Hey singlegirlie! Would u fart on someone’s face?
No. Would you?
IN YOUR FACE?? Dude that’s more than comfortable, that’s a fetish!!!
singlegirlie if a guy asked you to fart in his face would you?
I have a very musical family, but we all absolutely hate it! It definitly doesn’t bring us closer together, in fact we find ourselves alot farther apart after someone has tooted.
Yeah, the stink bombs are bad. If they’re loud & odorless, I’ve got no problems.
You sound hot. However; this is ME PERSONALLY; but, depending on who the person is and if she is a hottie; I like’em ALL.
why not i think guys would like you to do it i know i whould !!!
sorry i meant to talk to you singlegirlie
“I’d rather be in a relationship with someone around whom I can be a natural woman, not a robot. I have found my fartner, and he loves me just the same.”
AMEN. And I love the word “fartner.” Thanks for cracking my schizz up. Everyone farts. Heck, I had a guy do it on the THIRD DATE just the other day. Seriously. Didn’t even try to hold it in! Whatevs. We’re all human, right?
Ha! He must’ve felt super comfortable around you. May as well get it out of the way, I suppose. Now the ball’s in your court! 😉
I NEED someone like you. There are too many pricks out there who judge too much.
Anyone who says they “never fart” is either a) lying b) telling the truth and at the risk of exploding – WHO DOESN’T FART?! I dated a guy who claimed “he never masturbated” which, just made me think “what else is he lying about?!”
Although, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was constantly farting, I also wouldn’t want to be with someone who expected me to not be a normal human from time to time. Farts happen!
Riiiiight. Never farts or never masturbates – are you a cartoon? Come on, guys. We can handle it. We’re not dumb.
A guy that doesn’t fart is a guy full of LIES.
Yeah, can you believe that guy? Like I’d buy that.
Everybody farts, folks. EVERYBODY. Quit frontin’!
lol… I love your honesty.
It would take me a while to feel comfortable farting in front of someone, but in the end, if you can’t fart together then you’re not meant to be together. I want to just be “me” with my S/O, and hey, I fart.
LOL, so, the couple that farts together stays together? I love a good duet…
You’re so right.
Just found your blog from lifebeginsat30ty…love it!
I fart…quite a bit. It would be a dealbreaker for me if someone can’t accept that. Now I wouldn’t go prancing around the house farting but if one escapes…they’d have to deal with it. And I don’t mind the farting either. Again, I don’t want a man that tries to give me a “dutch oven” but if one escapes, whatever. It happens.
Oh, Dutch ovens are totally unacceptable. Against the law. That’s just mean.
dutch ovens sound great i would love a hot girl to give me one
Within the three first months of our relationship, bf had farted around 600 times, joined me into the examination room with a gyno, seen all kids of unpleasant stuff, found a remnant floater after I’ve been to the toilet, and also, me butt naked in beaming day light. After that, there were nothing more to be embarassed about.
I still try not to fart in front of him because.. well I don’t you know, like it, but I will if I’m lazy. Sometimes by accident, and sometimes because it’s better in front of him than like his family or whatever we’re going. I really don’t see myself being able to go back to the whole I’m-not-really-human-schtick because well, now and then, I forget to flush the toilet after I empty my mooncup, and he’s cool with that. Being allowed to be human is AWESOME, and so much less stressing.
*Seen all KINDS of stuff. Not kids.
I think you guys have a great relationship. It is indeed special when you’ve found someone who loves you, farts, floaters and all. But I have a question… WHAT is a mooncup???
Google it! Instead of fearsome pads and tampons!
If your dood is cool with that, then you’ve got yourself a serious keeper, girl.
I dig the eco-friendliness.
My son farts all the time in front of me and it doesn’t bring us closer…Yeah I am the girl you can fart in front of…Heck I’m the girl that if you have a GI bleed I will stick my finger up your butt to assess the situation…Wait that didn’t sound right maybe I should tell you that I am a nurse first!
The question is, my dear, do youuuu fart? Guys usually don’t have a problem farting in front on anyone. It’s like a sport to them.
I am thrilled to see that I see have the same effect on you as ever, Den Den. I hope you weren’t wearing the lime green thong. That was my fave.
False alarm. All daisy fresh, love.
No. I do not. I don’t have a boyfriend, but when/if I did/do have one, no – I don’t. As much of an asshole as I am, I don’t do the asshole kazzoo in front of men…. I don’t even like buying tampons.
Wow, I’m really surprised that so many people won’t or can’t do this. Maybe I’m a little too loosey goosey in my attitude for some. Seriously, I can’t help it. I fart a LOT.
And I LOVE “asshole kazoo.” The word kazoo on its own is pretty awesome, but paired with asshole? Brilliant!
oh come on now….
KAP is missing, Single. Denny’s very distressed.
I don’t think it’s natural to TRY and fart in front of, oh, anyone, and it’s polite to walk away when you do. But if one slips out? Who cares? A few months ago, I was spooning my beau while we were watching SNL, and no joke, he laughed so hard at one point that he tooted. We were both silent for a sec before he goes, “Excuse me.” I about lost my shit laughing. “Not only was that the first time you farted in front of me … but you farted ON me. Oh huny. I feel so close to you!”
Ah, the laughing fart. LOL, so I guess you were the outer spoon? That is definitely an ice breaker.
I remember when I was a kid I had a friend who would always chase me around trying to fart on me. She was a lot bigger than me so it was pretty scary.
i shit about 15 times a day or fart whatever you call it i shit in public on a bus or taxi even at dinner i dont care its natural to shit i once stood outside greggs there was about 6 girls i shit myself near them and they run off down the street and one shouted im calling trading standards i mean wtf where do some people get there brains from
Yeah, I’m not gonna lie, I go through gassy phases. I remember when I was 18 and had just started dating a guy who lived in my dorm. I went down to see him, plopped down in the chair next to him, realised that I was about to let out the stinkiest fart EVER and there was no way to stop it.
I didn’t know what to do. The chair wasn’t squishy enough to absorb the odour. So I got up and left with absolutely no warning.
We never spoke of it again, until 8 months later (we were still dating), he was like, ‘Um, remember that time that you came into my room, sat down, farted, and then left? Yeah, thanks for that…’
Ha ha! That’s awesome. But I thought you didn’t fart? So how did he know?
Women who think it’s gross, cmon! “It’s perfectly natural and normal” don’t trip, let it rip!
Ladies, for your inspiration..
I Love to Fart
MythBusters – Do Pretty Girls Fart?
Women do fart!
Enjoy! Haha! 🙂
Wow, that is quite a collection of fart videos. I love the farting idol! Thank you for sharing.
My man and I have been together for two years now, and honestly, the number of times we’ve openly farted in front of each other can be counted on ONE HAND. Seriously. And at least two of those have “slipped out”.
After having an ex husband who used flatulence as a way of getting his point across in a conversation, I’m happy to say that my current man knows when to hold it. Of course, whenever one DOES happen to slip out, I DO tease him mercilessly about it. heh.
I guess I just feel like there’s a time and a place for everything. Farts sometimes happen…but when they’re disgusting and all the time, it just leaves me with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth.
Now, see, that’s your problem. They don’t belong in your mouth.
I don’t know how you guys do it. What do you do with all that air? Redirect it back up into your intestines? I mean, a couple of them, sure, but not all the time! I think I just have an inordinate amount of gas. It must be released into the wild.
Lol I think I have that prob to But I disagree with u lol Dutch ovens are the best and I put most men to shame with my farts and I’m proud :)))
OMG. You are my new hero.
I once dated a girl who farted in the gym, then blamed me… years later she confessed that she was the culprit! What a bitch!
I would love if a girl farted in front of me… it’s such a pain to have to hold one in when you’ve met someone.
LOL! Wouldn’t life be easier if everyone felt comfortable just saying, “Oops, I farted. Excuse me.”
And it really is a pain. I get major stomach cramps when I hold it in. I can’t help it. I fart a LOT.
Single, this is an important issue that you keep returning to, and we are a better nation for it. I have lately been very gassy, so much that if you looked in my google browser history, you might see a search for ‘gas issues and solutions’ along with ‘sex with fruit’. In any case, I think there’s a difference between nasty farts that sound like a bassoon and smell and cute, innocent ones. The latter are permissible, the former I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy, much less a loved one.
Thank you, Dumps. What kind of a nation are we if we can’t have an honest and open dialogue about farts and poop?
And you’re right, the smelly ones are the worst. Noise doesn’t bother me. As I said below, my farts don’t stink. I’m not trying to be all “my shit don’t stink,” but they don’t. Alright, every now and then they do but generally it’s just a little trumpet sound. Not so bad.
What kind of fruit?
Oh to pass gas is divine. The way I look at it if we weren’t supposed to make funny noises or the occasional odd smell we wouldn’t have a hole back there.
I am a pretty laid back guy, but I like to give the special ladies in my life a couple of months in the feeling out stage of a fart free Bob experience. I figure that if she can put up with the rest of my crazy idiosyncratic ways a fart or two isn’t going to phase her.
Like you said, farting could be a icebreaker to intimacy. It lets the other person know that we are indeed human farts and all.
A couple months is a good window. I mean, you can’t just come right out and rip one right away. Some people might not be so understanding.
To fart is healthy. To hold them back is not. I had a friend wind up in the emergency room because of gas. I don’t want to wind up there.
Definitely in the pro-fart camp. If it’s naturally gonna happen, I’m not gonna stop it.
But dammit, I swear the boyfriend forces those suckers out.
And to that I say “no thank you.”
Hurrah, fart camp! Yes, some men use farts as some kind of punch line. And it never gets old.
How to know you’ve found your perfect partner? They let out the loudest rippiest rankiest ass-wind and you still love them anyway 😉
Hahahaha! Ya know, I think part of it is that my farts don’t stink. Seriously. And Tom’s usually don’t either. So it’s just a noise. I’m not offended by a noise.
I want to be in the Fart Camp! Really I do! I agree with everything here, and I don’t care one bit if the dude farts in front of me. Usually – it’s hilarious and I prefer being allowed some childish humor.
But. I have some hang-ups. I don’t pretend I don’t toot (duh) but it’s ridiculously difficult for me to feel comfortable enough to do so in front of my SO. I’ve had BFs practically beg me (ok maybe not) to let ‘er rip, but… usually? I just can’t!
Maybe part of my problem is I need to break the six-month window…
Fart Camp rocks, girl! It’s even better than Camp Snoopy. I swear, once you give us a try, there’s no going back!
I’d join IN A HEARTBEAT!
The sooner in the relationship one of you fartsfarts infront infront of the other, the better it is.
Otherwise, like some types of fart, the issue can linger. Trust me you’ll be relieved.
Arch Bishop of Farterbury.
HA! This is hysterical but oh so true. I have to say, I fall into the non-fart camp. I don’t care if M farts but there is no way I will ever do it. I just can’t. I don’t know why, it just feels so very wrong. (unless accidental!).
How do you do it, girl? Doesn’t your tummy hurt?
Come to the dark side, my child. Copious amounts of liquor may be necessary.
do you think you can send a fart video of you just a short one so we know your telling the truth about farting
I think I fall under the category of guys that don’t fart… not around other people anyway, but I would definitely be down with my girl and I rippin em around each other. As long as it’s mutual.
I feel that im inside a farm ! Its somthing personal and must be understanding that farts is a part of the human nature ..u dont stick ur ass in his face and fart ,some ppl like it but when its smelly they hate it so make sure u eat a good food ..;)