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Naomi Lane

I am a single girl dating in Los Angeles. Sometimes. It's interesting.

Be a Baby, Why Don’t You?

Generally speaking, I’m not a huge fan of babies. I mean, I’ve nothing against them — I might even get one someday — but I don’t fuss and coo and go gaga when I see a baby. They’re just not that interesting to me. They’re kinda like fleshy blobs of […]

New Rule: The 5-Minute Date

I had a date the other night. It went pretty much the same way every single online date I’ve ever had has gone. We met for a drink and when I laid eyes on him I really wasn’t attracted physically. I wasn’t repulsed either, he just wasn’t someone I imagined […]

Don’t Date and Tweet

For those of you who don’t know, I am very active on Twitter (follow me!) I tweet all day long… *Tweet* I have muthertrucking cramps! *Tweet* STOP! Brownie time. *Tweet* Why the freak hasn’t Jorge texted back? You get the picture. I can even tweet from my phone, so why […]

Crikey! I’ve Lost My Mojo!

I’m going to the police to report a crime: Somebody stole my mojo. I know someone must have stolen it, because last night I had the opportunity to have red hot sex with a red hot man thing. And I passed. The guy: Former F-buddy. 20s. Surfer. Hot. Body. Rockin’. […]

I Have This Wild Fantasy…

Sometimes I think I might be a little bit insane. Like most men and women, I fantasize – that much is normal. I fantasize about sex, of course, but I also have bizarre fantasies about men that I often think might qualify me for residency at Shutter Island. They usually […]

I Made the First Move! Kinda.

I don’t consider myself a terribly shy person – except when it comes to approaching men I find attractive. I’ll talk to anyone – in the grocery store, on the street, at the cemetery – unless it’s a man I’m really digging on. Then I’ll avert my eyes and pretend […]