What can I say about condoms? I’m going to be frank here and say the thing you’re not supposed to say out loud in a public forum because it’s not, well, responsible. But everybody knows the truth. People don’t use condoms because they don’t feel good.
But you know what else doesn’t feel good?
- A burning sensation when you pee
- Itchy vulva
- Anal lesions
- Having to call former partners to inform them of your anal lesions
- Inflamed scrotum
- That awkward moment when the guy stops eating you out because “it smells like rancid possum bowels down there”
- Taint blisters
- Unwanted baby bursting forth from your loins
- Cervical cancer
Hm. Suddenly, condoms don’t sound so bad after all, do they?
In the name of VD (why, Valentine’s Day, of course!), my friends at Lucky Bloke* are offering free condoms and lube for a month to one of my lucky readers! Their subscription deal is pretty kick ass. Just order online and they come straight to you – no more awkward situations with the 80-year-old granny cashier at Walgreens.
They’ve got all kinds of brands (Durex, Trojan, Kimono, Astroglide, Wet + more) and come in all shapes, colors and flavors (pleasure-shaped, wildberry, studded… wait. Studded?), so whatever your kink or fancy, these guys have got you covered.
I also want to mention that this is not a “sponsored story” and Lucky Bloke is not paying me to write this post. I just want you guys to protect yourselves and think this sounds like a pretty sweet deal. And if there’s any small part I can do to promote safe sex, then I’m all for it.
And by the way, it’s not one of those things where you give your credit card up front then they keep charging you after the free month. I checked.
Shut up and tell me how I get my free condoms and lube!
Okay, it’s super easy.
- Leave a comment describing your most embarrassing condom buying experience
- Leave a comment describing your funniest condom or lube experience
- If you don’t feel like sharing the sordid details of your condom history, just write “Enter me, girlie!”
- You can also @ or DM me on Twitter @singlegirlie saying “Hey! @singlegirlie and @theluckybloke are RAD! Now gimme free stuff!”
Enter by February 13, 2012. Don’t worry, it’s all totes confidential. So slap one of those slippery suckers on and let’s have some SEX!
*By the way, ladies, don’t let the name discourage you. It’s for Lucky Ladies, too. Did you know more than 50% of condom sales are made by us chickies? The smarter sex, obviously.
Categories: Totally Random